Catastrophic failure. That's the words straight from Bill at Bill's Auto Shop the day after this video was taken. That's our family Rav4. We bought it two years ago because they were virtually bulletproof Toyota engines. 170K km's on it. It should have lasted years. YEARS. But on this Easter Sunday, my two sons were driving it back home from deep south Alberta while we rounded out our visit with their grandparents. They made a move to pass and WHAM, smoke, noise. They did everything right. Pulled over. Shut it off. Got out, had a look. And called dad. It was Easter Sunday morning so we had just gotten out of church. I saw their call as it came in. My heart actually sank because there was no good reason to hear from them yet. They were an hour and a half into their return trip. I knew what was at stake in the moment. I could feel it. And I bet they could too. I'm here to tell you not about the work of the mechanic restoring my Rav. It's ded. D-e-d. Ded. 💀 I'm here to tell you the work of Jesus restoring my heart as a father. They called me. Fearless. And that hasn't always been the case. I have been impatient with them. I have been critical of them as young boys and young men. There was a season where they would have gotten my interrogation rather than my rescue. But today, Jesus leads me by still waters. He restores my soul. And my marriage. And my mission. ANd my body. And my finances. And my dead vehicles. NOTHING, in that moment, was more important than the safety of my sons. And I'm not talking about road safety. Nothing was more important than their security in their dad's love and protection. I responded with the same heart that Jesus has shown me. I know this because, two hours down the road they checked in with me. The text is below. Fathering adult sons is a wild and dangerous frontier. I've faltered and missed the mark. But I know that I'm an oak tree for them. (Isaiah 61:3) I'm still sowing my legacy into these beautiful, dangerous young men that God has entrusted to me. And with my dying breath, I will sow.

There is an assumption that someone who is healthy either has never dealt with any hardships or they have far more motivation than everyone else. We can agree that everyone deals with hardships. The harder point to argue is motivation. If you dig a little deeper, the healthier people we look up to aren’t motivated to be healthy, they are disciplined in their health journey. This applies to physical health of course, but it also applies to mental health and spiritual health too. Discipline can be attractive. It can also very easily be destructive. To butcher the words of Sam Eldredge: “Jocko Willink’s disciplined morning routine seems great, until your wife is crying in the kitchen.” That’s the moment. That’s the real discipline. Do you hide behind working out and fitness or do you engage with your wife who is having a day and it’s only breakfast. I am a runner. A trail runner. An ultra runner. I don’t run as much as the influencers or the pro athletes… but I run. I love it. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel closer to God. It’s such a simple way of engaging with the world - the real world. No screens, no headphones, no noise but your breath and the birds. I have prayed some of my most intense prayers on a hard run. I have spent hours running next to Jesus on race day. I have worshipped God over and over as I struggle to complete a particularly hard run on a particularly hard day. I recently read that the key to ultra running is to bring your WHY to the startline. This came at a perfect moment for me. I was spiralling in comparison. Listening to pro podcasts, following athletes far more talented than me, staring at my training numbers disheartened. Runs are a great time to think, or not think. So it was on one of those runs that I realized what my WHY is. Why do I run? Why do I train for ultramarathons? Why do I commit to hour after hour of training when I could be spending that time with my wife? With my son? I run to become a better version of myself. When I run, I feel better about my physical body. I need to eat better so I don’t ruin my lungs or my shorts while running. I need to recover properly so I can do it all again tomorrow. I pay for races and hotels and gas so I can test myself… against myself. When I am running regularly, I am a better version of myself. I am disciplined in my physical pursuits. That discipline spills over into other areas of my life too. My emotional wellbeing, my pursuit of Jesus, the way I love my wife, the way I engage my son. Running makes me healthy in a holistic way. It brings me more in line with who God created me to be. I know this because despite the early mornings and long recoveries, I now have far more capacity to love.

Good morning fellas. I hear regularly from guys, especially after a weekend experience like Wild at Heart Basic or Becoming a King, that they could really use a place to connect with other men, outside of church or just "going for a beer". A couple men in our community are offering a monthly Wild at Heart Fire in their backyard. These fires carry a bit more weight than a backyard campfire. - Fires aren't religious - Your story matters - No bullshit allowed - Confidentiality is essential I've reached out to them and they would love to have you come by. @Jeff Bender - next one is March 17. 3rd Tuesday of each month, 630-830pm Contact him here through messaging or go to his Fire page here: City Fire - Jeff Bender Dan Toews 2nd Monday of each month, 630pm Contact him through his Fire page here: Sons & Brothers Fire - Dan Toews These are in the Edmonton area, so for you guys outside that, have a look at the Wild at Heart map for local fires near you. I hope you take a chance and join these fine men. It will be good for your heart.

Last June I once again stepped into the martial arts but this time it was my heart looking to stay alive as much as my body. I have 5 big WHY's behind this. I write to men on Substack. Read the full dispatch here: https://substack.com/@thundercompany/note/c-184968973 WARNING - GRAPHIC - "Marcus, You Are Never Out Of The Fight" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnUnQPEfSpM tldr: WHY #1 - I'm a warrior. WHY #2 - I'm a teacher. WHY #3 - I'm a learner. WHY #4 - I treasure my body. WHY #5 - As a man, my life is designed to be a series of rites of passage. WHY #6 - I treasure my heart.