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Restoring.Love.Marriage

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Nine Stages Method™

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Rebuild Trust Now

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4 contributions to Nine Stages Method™
What stage are you working through?
Transformation begins with awareness. I’d love to know where you currently are in your journey. Which stage are you working through right now? • Stage 1: Cause• Stage 2: Emotional Effect• Stage 3: Interpretation• Stage 4: Desire• Stage 5: Action• Stage 6: Justification• Stage 7: Issues & Patterns• Stage 8: Origins• Stage 9: Cure Drop your stage below and share one insight, breakthrough, challenge, or question you’re currently working through. Remember: The goal isn’t to understand why you cheated. The goal is to discover the root causes and permanently change the patterns that made infidelity possible. Let’s discuss.
1 like • 17d
Working on stage 6 tonight.
0 likes • 8d
Just finished stage 9. Going to start working on the exercises now.
Root cause
How do others handle when the betrayed partner responds to your explanation of root cause with anger, and when attempting to explain that root cause that is rooted in childhood trauma which led to inappropriate coping methods and actions, as an excuse. They feel that the decision is simple that I just chose to cheat on them and that it’s as simple as that just making a choice not to do something. I have attempted to explain that I’m not using my childhood trauma and incorrect coping methods as an excuse, but as an explanation which led to me justifying and escaping. And that knowing this helps me to be able to get to the root of the issue not just. “ not doing it” and actually being able to change.
0 likes • 9d
I’m going through the same issue right now with my spouse. However, we are going to a couples therapist that specializes in infidelity recovery, and it is helping to have the therapist explain to my spouse that what I am saying is a valid explanation, not an excuse. Having the third party there to validate what I’m saying has been helping so far.
1 like • 17d
Thanks for the video. Yes, that does help. I’m so focused on what to do to fix the situation, I guess sometimes the best thing to do is be patient and not do anything. And like you said, just stay consistent letting her know I’m there for her.
Questions? Drop Them Below
As more members continue joining The Nine Stages Method™ community, I just want to remind everyone: If you have questions… drop them in the feed. Whether it’s about: • root causes • cheating patterns • rebuilding trust • triggers • communication • emotional regulation • or recovery in general… Post it. I check the community weekly and answer questions to help guide you through the process. You’re not here to just stop the behavior. You’re here to change the pattern at the source.
1 like • 18d
I’ve got a question about communication and rebuilding trust. Since my wife found out about the affair she’s asked me to leave the house. We barely talk in person or over the phone, she will only communicate with me by text. So much gets lost in communication this way, context, emotion, etc. I try to get her to talk and she refuses. She says text is the same as talking and the same as therapy. How do I get her to start to open up to talking in person or even over the phone so that I can help her to heal, and to start to rebuild trust?
1 like • 17d
@Michael Morentin thank you!
1-4 of 4
Robby Jackson
1
1point to level up
@robby-jackson-6421
Looking to rebuild trust with my wife and save our marriage

Active 4d ago
Joined Jun 6, 2026
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