I recorded this because I want every one of you doing this work to understand something important: You can still turn your life and relationship around—but you must do it the right way. You cannot use more deception to repair the damage deception created. Even if withholding information or controlling the truth appears to work temporarily, it will eventually undo everything you are trying to rebuild. Your intentions must be pure, and those intentions must be demonstrated through the way you live: Complete honesty. Personal accountability. Truth—even when it is uncomfortable. This is not about becoming perfect overnight. It is about making the decision that you will no longer hide, minimize, manipulate, or protect yourself with deception. As you watch, ask yourself: Am I living honestly because I want to become trustworthy—or am I only doing enough to keep my relationship? Be honest with yourself. That answer will show you where your work begins.

Most unfaithful spouses had a moment of realization when I explained the 9 Stages to them. So it makes me curious what is yours? what were you confused about and which stage cleared it for you?

How do others handle when the betrayed partner responds to your explanation of root cause with anger, and when attempting to explain that root cause that is rooted in childhood trauma which led to inappropriate coping methods and actions, as an excuse. They feel that the decision is simple that I just chose to cheat on them and that it’s as simple as that just making a choice not to do something. I have attempted to explain that I’m not using my childhood trauma and incorrect coping methods as an excuse, but as an explanation which led to me justifying and escaping. And that knowing this helps me to be able to get to the root of the issue not just. “ not doing it” and actually being able to change.

Transformation begins with awareness. I’d love to know where you currently are in your journey. Which stage are you working through right now? • Stage 1: Cause• Stage 2: Emotional Effect• Stage 3: Interpretation• Stage 4: Desire• Stage 5: Action• Stage 6: Justification• Stage 7: Issues & Patterns• Stage 8: Origins• Stage 9: Cure Drop your stage below and share one insight, breakthrough, challenge, or question you’re currently working through. Remember: The goal isn’t to understand why you cheated. The goal is to discover the root causes and permanently change the patterns that made infidelity possible. Let’s discuss.