I really like this! The melody strikes a great balance of being simple to follow but also engaging to sing. It feels very well suited for congregational singing. I agree with Jon 100% on the chorus! I think cutting out the passing tones and just doing 3-5-6 (with a shorter pick up) would give the song more momentum and punch. I also agree that you don’t need the “and” on each line. I like the lyrics as well, but I have a few structural thoughts! I sometimes overthink this, so take it all with a grain of salt. It feels like you have a lot of related ideas pertaining to the second coming, but they aren’t all necessarily pulling in the same direction, if that makes sense. You sort of have 3 main aspects highlighted about the return of Christ: he comes in power to defeat his foes, he comes in splendor to be worshiped, and he comes to purify/gather his people. I wonder if it would strengthen the flow of ideas to sort them more neatly into sections like this: Verse 1 - Focus on Christ coming in power to conquer his foes (especially death and sin). Potentially use the first half of your current verse 1 and pair it with the first half of your current verse 2. (Maybe they could start “When you appear in glory” and “When you appear in power”) Verse 2 - the first half can discuss Christ freeing/gathering his people, and the second half can focus on how he will be worshiped by angels/nations etc. (Maybe they could start “When you appear in mercy” and “When you appear in splendor”) Then, maybe you could re-word the first few lines of the chorus to emphasize the structure. The first line could talk about us seeing him in power, the next would be about seeing him make all things new, and then the next would be about worshiping forever. You already allude to restoration and worship in your current chorus with the lines about wiping away tears and knees bowing, so it’s not far from what you have! With all that being said, I don’t think your current text is bad by any means! I think it definitely works well as is, but it could potentially be strengthened by a clearer organization of ideas/themes.

@Keiko Ying this is all very helpful! I actually had the Db/F in that spot initially, but thought maybe I was overcomplicating it haha. It’s a great chord! I also had a similar thought to you about ending with the Db/Ab, but ran into the same issue with the melody. I’ll try that change you suggested! I’ll type up a new version with the suggested lyrics and those chord changes! I may not add all those thirds and other notes in now, but they will be in the actual choral score for sure! On “holding fast”, I can see it either way! I think of holding fast as describing the love rather than the water, but I also can kind of see the idea of being enveloped and secure in the water. Maybe I’m overthinking it now haha. I’ll put the suggested change in my score for now, but we can change it back to whatever you prefer for the final version! No worries on the piano recording! I mostly wanted it to help with writing the accomp, so it’ll still be helpful if you have time to get to it. I’ll start with the choral parts though, so there’s no rush! If you’re not able to get to it, I should be able to work off of what I already have.

@Keiko Ying this is perfect! Thank you!

@Keiko Ying I like these edits! I think it could still use some more polish/refinement, but I think there's some great potential. I think there's something to the idea of a song about the Spirit's consistent presence throughout our life. It might be worth considering keeping your opening stanza largely the same, but then having one stanza that focuses more on the Spirit's presence in good times (days of blessing), one stanza that focuses on hard times (shadows of unknowing), and then your final stanza could be even more focused on the Spirit leading us to the fulfillment of all things. I'm excited to see where this goes! I thought about NETTLETON too! I actually think the scansion works fine with HYFRYDOL (maybe it's a preference thing), but it doesn't necessarily have the right character for your updated text anyways. If the idea is more about joy as a quiet steadiness/confidence/satisfaction in the Lord, you might consider BEACH SPRING or something else from the folk hymn tradition! If you're writing a new melody, maybe emulate that style with a pentatonic scale and simple harmonies. There's a quiet confidence to that genre that I think suits your lyrics well. I actually don't think it needs a refrain, but I tend to be a hymn purist! Some of that depends on what context you're writing it for. Our church doesn't always connect with refrains/choruses, but I know they're really meaningful and engaging in other churches.

@Keiko Ying love the idea for this! I absolutely think you should tie Christ in to a Holy Spirit hymn. If you have been addressing the spirit directly in the preceding verses, maybe something about asking the Spirit to show us Christ / sustain us till the day we see him. I think your idea for “what delight shall overwhelm us / when we see him in the flesh” is a powerful ending! The spirit’s ultimate purpose is to point us to Christ, so ending with us seeing him in the flesh is perfect. The overall framing could be that the spirit sustains us with joy through good and bad times by pointing us to Christ until that day when he brings us fully to Christ and we know perfect joy.

@Jon Hutchens I definitely wouldn’t want to change that opening musical phrase! I really like what you’ve done with the tune and I wouldn’t want to start messing with it just to make a certain lyric work at this point. As I’ve thought about it more, I think either opening could work. I think “Hallelujah, praise the Lord” can work fine with the music as is, even though the text might seem a little more energetic than the music. I don’t personally find it too jarring, but that might just be because I wrote it haha. I think there’s an argument to be made for sticking with the order of the psalm, but also an argument that the poetic image of a sunrise is the best starting point. I’m open to either! I think it might be helpful to sit with two potential versions of the text for a few days and see if one feels more settled than the other. I might even put together a little demo recording with a few additional instruments if I have the time. Outside of potentially changing the first stanza, let me know if you think of other spots in the lyrics that might be worth adjusting/improving! I might have some minor suggestions for the music once I sit down and play through it more intently, but I think it’s pretty good as is! It has only continued to grow on me since I first heard it. Here are the two versions of the text that I have now: Version 1 1- Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Praise His name forevermore. From the rising of the sun, Till the passing day is done, Let His people sing His praise; Let us glorify His name! Refrain- See Him seated high Over earth and sky- Who is like the Lord our God? From the break of dawn Let His praise go on! Oh, who is like the Lord? 2- See Him in His majesty, He who spoke the world to be. See him bend to hear our cry, All our needs to satisfy. He who sits enthroned above Condescends to us in love! 3- See him in our savior, Christ He who dwells in blinding light; See him leave his glorious throne To redeem us for his own

I haven't forgotten about this song! I made a really simple demo a couple weeks ago and have been listening to it on and off for reflection. I'll attach it here, but it's nothing fancy! I just played all the instruments in on a midi keyboard and sang through the built in laptop mic. It's a very versatile melody, so I think there are a variety of ways that it could be arranged beyond what I've done here! It would also sound great in a more classical arrangement. A few thoughts/questions: 1). I am leaning towards "Hallelujah, praise the Lord" as the stronger opening, but I'm still open to discussion on it! I'm curious if it will grow on you after listening to the recording a few times, or if you'll still feel like the other way is better. 2). My wife says that something she can't define feels off with the lyrics on the chorus. I sort of see what she means, but I'm not entirely sure I'm able to put my finger on it either. Do you have any thoughts? I'm wondering if "From the break of dawn / let His praise go on" feels too casual or repetitive with the verse? I'm not sure, though. It flows nicely with the music, if nothing else. It could be potentially nice to replace that line with something that emphasizes the immanence of God, since the first half of the chorus talks about transcendence and the general theme of the song is the contrast between his transcendence and immanence. 3). I go back and forth, but I think I like dropping down to the B at the end of both phrases in the verse, if you know what I mean. Staying up on the E feels nice sometimes, but my instinct really pulls down to the B again. What are your thoughts? Let me know if you have other thoughts on the tune, text, or arrangement!

This is a nice idea for a song! I haven’t been able to listen to the tune yet, but I love your framing of looking up as a call to worship. If the song would be served by a third verse, you could have something about looking up to see Christ’s return. “Look up and see him coming / to gather up his bride” or something like that.