being magnetic is about being "congruent" congruent meaning your thoughts, feelings and actions are aligned people who are congruent are people who feel safe you can feel in your body when someone is congruent or not have you ever met someone who said all the right things but under the surface you could feel something was "off?" this is common in people who are "nice" being nice is a subconscious pattern that says if I am nice to you… you will validate me or be nice to me back its a subconscious manipulative pattern that means well… but keeps people TRAPPED being kind is different… not attached to outcome and with no agenda being "nice" is incongruent and sends the energy of not being a "safe person" it kept me trapped for years until I shed it back in the day I would feel one way, but say another I wouldn’t share what I actually thought I would say yes to things I didn’t really want to do I would sugar coat things or tolerate energy that deep down i resented myself for I would abandon myself for others and that would have me angry and disappointed in myself I was choosing to NOT be congruent because as a kid… it didn’t feel I was allowed to I made a subconscious choice as a kid from having a controlling authority figure I am not safe unless I say the right things even if its not true for me I would then abandon myself in order to feel safe with other people The paradox is then I would put out an energy that wasn’t safe for others Everything changed when I began to embrace authenticity over approval I began to express how I really felt Even if that meant others would feel tension I knew then that THEIR tension was not my thing to manage I could feel safe in my body because I was being CONGRUENT to my true self And how people responded wasn’t my thing to manage anymore I changed the values that I live by and that changed everything Your identity is comprised of who you believe you are Which is a combination of the values you life by And when you change that everything changes