Let me guess what's really going on. You want to throw the party. You feel it in your gut. But life is loud right now, so you've told yourself the responsible thing... "I'll start once things calm down." I'll be straight with you, because I care about you actually doing this. Things never calm down….never, EVERRR….? PERIOD… I've been at this over 22 years. There was never a magic season where my calendar cleared and the universe handed me a quiet window. It never came. Not once. The people who wait for the calm are the same ones who, five years later, still haven't thrown their first event. Here's what I finally understood. You don't find time. You take it. You plant your flag on a date and everything else rearranges around that decision. And that's good news, because you don't need perfect conditions. You need a date and a phone. Let me show you how small the real first step is. You don't need to plan a concert bus tonight. You need to CALL 20 people about a get-together two weeks out, then follow up with a text. Call first, text second. That's a job you can knock out while life is still chaotic. That's the whole point. But here's the deeper reason you can't afford to coast, and it's the one most people miss. You are only as good as your last party. Read that again. Your reputation isn't built on the party you threw a year ago. It's built on the LAST one. Which means the moment you're standing in a great room full of happy people... that is not the time to relax. That is the single best time to promote your next one. Hint, hint. Your current party is the launchpad for your next party. The energy is high, people are having the night of their lives, and they'll say yes to the next thing on the spot. That's when you plant the seed. That's when you're working the room, meeting the friends your friends brought, spotting the movers and shakers, and collecting their info so you can reach them again. (There are some great tools for that now... ask me how.)

I want to tell you about a fireplace. At home we heat our whole house with a wood-burning oven. And I learned something from it that changed how I throw parties. You can spend all night trying to light one single log. It barely catches. It smokes, it struggles, it dies out. You're working twice as hard for half the result. But put a second log criss-cross on top of the first, create that little pocket of energy and air between them, and suddenly the fire roars to life on its own. Something happens in the space between two logs that one alone could never create. That's a partnership. And it might be exactly what you're missing. Here's what I see all the time. Someone with real talent tries to do everything themselves. The date, the venue, the calls, the guest list, the money, the setup. All of it, alone. And they burn out fast, or never start, because the mountain looks impossible from where they're standing. After 22+ years I'm telling you... DO NOT DO IT ALONE. Not because you can't. Because it's simply better, and more fun, with two. But here's an angle most people never think about. Doing it with a partner isn't just about splitting the workload. Your own party is your best chance to BOND with someone. Think about it. When those movers and shakers show up... the ones with the energy, the ones pulling people toward them... that's your opening. Buy them a drink. Introduce them around to new people so they light up and remember you did that for them. Trade war stories. Get to know them, personally, right there in the room. Do you need a kick in the ass to figure that out? Come on now. This is the easy, fun part, and it's how you turn a guest into a real ally. And here's a pro move. Keep good notes on people. If someone's got a birthday coming up, figure out how you can celebrate them at one of your parties. You have a digital phone, right? Then you have no excuse not to remember the little things that make people feel special. That's how loyalty gets built.

Here is something I learned over 22 plus years that almost nobody starting out understands. The date is the weapon! Not the venue. Not the flyer. Not the DJ. The DATE!!!! Here is what I mean. When you lock a date early and you put it out into the world, something powerful happens. Word travels. Other organizers hear that YOU are throwing something big that weekend. And they back off. They start looking at OTHER dates, because they don't want to go head to head with you. That is YOU in the driver's seat. We used to do this on purpose in San Francisco. We planted our flag on a date, made it known, and the others stayed away from OUR day. .....*** Tip and a Big insight here... we even did that with our "regular" parties... WE did our parties ON FRIDAYS....so we Pre-Empted other people's Saturday parties.. more on that in another post... Not because we were bullies. But because we moved FIRST, and we moved with confidence. Now let me be straight with you. This works when you have the reputation to back it up. If you are just getting started, you may not be fully there yet. That is okay. But this is EXACTLY how you start to dominate a city. You claim the date, you commit out loud, and you build the name that makes people move around YOU. Here is the part most people miss. Moving first doesn't just scare off competition. It hands you the best PARTNERS. Think about it. When you reach out to the strongest promoters and co-hosts in your city 4, 5, 6 months out, they haven't planned their fall yet. Their calendar is open. Their crowd is unclaimed. You get to them BEFORE anyone else does. So instead of fighting them for the same crowd, you invite them into YOUR room. Everybody wins, and the room is bigger than anything you could have built alone. Wait until three weeks out? Every good partner in the city is already booked or building their own thing. You get the leftovers. Now here is why I am telling you this TODAY. Halloween is coming!!! It is the single biggest night of the year for a party organizer.

Here's a lie I want to pull out of your head right now. ...."I can't throw a real party because I don't know enough people." Completely false. And I'm going to prove it. You already know more than enough people to fill a room. And every one of them knows people YOU don't know. That right there is the most powerful guest list on earth... the friends-of-friends effect... and almost nobody uses it on purpose. Let me break it down. Say you personally know 30 or 40 people you could reach out to. Feels small, right? Watch this. You don't just invite those 40. You invite them and you ask each one to bring a friend or two. Now 40 becomes 80. It becomes 120. And the friends they bring don't feel sold to. They're just hearing "you have to come to this" from someone they already trust. No ad budget buys that. But here's where most people stop, and this is the part that separates a hobbyist from a real organizer. When those friends-of-friends show up at your party... WORK THE ROOM. I mean it. Don't stand behind the bar or remain seated at your VIP Table with your buddies. … NO, NO…NOOO… Get out there and connect with the new faces. And as you do, watch closely. The movers and shakers are easy to spot. You can tell by their energy, by how they mingle, by how a little crowd naturally forms around them. Those are your targets. Make friends with THEM. Personally. Because now you're in the driver's seat. You're no longer depending on someone else to invite them back next time. You've got the direct line yourself. And obviously, while they're there, you need a way to collect their info. There are some slick tricks to that, and I'll get into the tools another time. Just know this... a great night with no way to reach those people again is a night half wasted. Tip for success: Take some pix with You and them AND Them and Their Friends…and tell them you will put it on the Slides / Photo Page that always get publisized after the party… ....usually within 24 hours OR sooner… ...People LOVE to check the Party pix out AFTER a party..

I just wanted to let @Alf Marcussen that you have sparked something in me to rekindle my IRLs and starting a virtual each month starting in Sept. Stay tuned on the process and the achievements I believe the more we connect In person will grow a business fastest. No matter how much you spend on ads the people you will have in front of you will help tremendously with retention and with that money stays consistent! More to come!