I know it's been quiet in here lately, and a lot of that was my fault. Saul and I were hosting our usual board game meetings in cafes around Cancun, but the other day we got invited to this new place, a hostel in the Hotel Zone. I've had some great memories in hostels and with people I've met in them around the world, and especially while backpacking southeast Asia. They were sometimes $1 US dollar per night in Vietnam. Things were going fine, his friend gave us a tour of the place, and we settled on having the games night in the lobby where the most traffic would come through. Sure enough, with an initing pile of hundreds of dollars worth of board games stacked high on a table at the entrance, they started wandering in: a tourist from Chile, a man from the Czech Republic, and eventually an energetic Chinese psychologist who ironically started off the conversation by telling us all about his problems. He said he was passing through just for a night or two and then on his way to Cuba. As the games progressed, he said, "Hey, I know, let's go to Coco Bongo!" It had been a dream of mine to go for the last 3 and a half years. But it's ungodly expensive! So it just wasn't in the budget. He said, "Ahh, come on, I'm going to get a table, it's $300 and I'm paying it anyway, but if I add someone they'll let you in for $30 bucks." I thought, hmm, that's not bad, even with a Mexican local discount it's still more than that. Maybe.. As the others weren't budging, he kept badgering us, "Okay, what if I just pay for you to come? I only booked a hostel instead of a hotel because I was hoping to meet some friends and go on adventures since I don't have much time left here." So we agreed. We met the Chinese psychologist down in the lobby, and took off. He insisted on tacos before the show, and said he knew the best taco place in town. We both laughed, what does a Chinese man know about Mexican tacos? Enough apparently, those were the best tacos I've ever had in my life. I don't eat that crap, but what's the point in being obsessed with health if a couple of times a year you can't celebrate being alive. Not jumping headlong off the wagon, but merely partaking in a few bites for the comraderie.

Saul has lost 50 pounds in the last 2 months. He started his journey with the protocol on the 10th of February. He adjusted really well from the beginning, which was shocking. His mother used to peel off the skin from the chicken and throw it in the trash, they weren't allowed to eat butter growing up, no bacon or eggs but white bread and cereal instead because it was "heart healthy"... I asked him a few questions and for some encouragement in case it helps. https://www.loom.com/share/a9d48ac35352412b96dde10c03e3214b?sid=04ae288d-b86d-4b67-9567-91a3915a334f One of the hardest parts about coming off food addictions is there are so many parts of the body at play here(also, we tend to only think the pancreas is responsible for insulin, but 7 organs are! And they all need to be healthy), stabbing your progress in the face like you're in a war. @Mark Townsend I was also wondering if you took any before photos, or took your weight, so that in a few days you'll have some sign of progress as something tangible to grasp onto and urge you onwards. You're not weak. And it's not really your willpower at play here, there are multiple organs struggling: your brain very likely has some old habits that have dug extremely deep neural pathways that it was counting on continuing(heyyy, where is the sugar?), also we talked about how we have about a small dog's brain worth, about a 100 million neurons from your esophagus to your rectum and these little manipulative drug addicts want their treats and they're complaining right now. Also... I sound like that Sham Wow commercial, and that's not all! In your intestines, we talked about one-fifth of all the food you will ever eat in your lifetime is stolen by the hundreds of trillions of bacteria in your gut(but they do give us some vitamins that come out their back ends as a reward and those are directly absorbed through our intestinal lining, so that's creepy and nice of them...) And you end up with more types of bacteria depending on what you feed them. So a high-carb diet will have a LOT more sugar-fermenting bacteria than a meat eater. And now trillions and trillions of bacteria who in some small way control you, are starving, and they're ANGRY, Mark. Eventually, if you stick with this, they will die off and you'll get meat-eating bacteria, you'll make New neural pathways in your brain that don't involve junk food. You'll rewire your taste buds and they will enjoy real food. And some of this may be in the mind, if you're the type who can eat an inch thick of butter slabbed on bread, but are struggling to eat it with meat and eggs, it might be a mind over matter thing in the beginning. Me and Saul made a video for you talking about his adjustment week. And we tried to think of any helpful suggestions or anything he did that helped. This is for anyone in the group in case anyone else has the same questions, or who needs help or some encouragement, too.

Just when you feel really good about yourself and things seem to be going well, life has one sick sense of humour and pulls the wheels off your wagon. I thought I did good last week only to find out that I had not done anything except waste Danielle's time. Grrr plenty of stress at work, in life, working double shifts, lack of sleep, and still slugging away braking my poor eating habits with an alien diet. It's Claire's birthday tomorrow and I always get sad, very sad that we are no longer able to share it anymore due to an evil criminal drunk driver, who needless to say is still walking this planet. (at least until I find her) 15 years ago, but it feels as raw as if it was yesterday. My intense rage is building in me and I do struggle not to explode sometimes, coping with work, running my own business, stress, life, my gorgeous baby girls, and changing my whole physical fibre is draining me to be honest. A colleague was mocking my wife (he didn't know apparently) today and the next thing I saw was him dangling over the second storey balcony with my hands around his throat. Not my finest hour to be fair, usually have better control, well I think I do. I handle all kinds of shit thrown at me without missing a beat, but slight my girls, either of passed wives, and my family and it is uncontrollable rage. I haven't had one of these episodes for the last 15 years, it was like I blacked out and apparently smashed this guy like a rag doll all through the kitchen and dinning room. I think it is age that makes it more acute but today was a bad day, a human being is in hospital at my hand for slagging off my dead wife. I know she'll be so disappointed in me for this. I was never worthy of her kind, funny, bight, compassionate, loving, and thoughtful soul. She used to love me unconditionally even with my dodgy family and my sketchy past, none of that bothered her, "we cant fix the past, but we can positively influence our future" her rose tinted outlook I guess, not mine as I have lived my life in the trenches watching the privileged waste it, being homeless, vulnerable, fighting to eat out of recusant bins on the streets of London changes you forever, Clair changed my life forever.