Hey Superparents, Picture this: Your child returns from their other parent's home. You greet them with all your love, ready to help them transition back into your safe, stable space. Then, that urge hits. A question about the other house. Maybe it seems innocent, born of curiosity, or perhaps it's loaded with unspoken concern. We've all felt it. But imagine what's happening in your child's mind. They might feel trapped, torn between loyalty and revealing information. They might worry about "betraying" one parent by speaking to the other. To a child, answering such questions can feel like choosing sides, creating immense internal conflict. Often, their simplest defense mechanism is, "I don't know." This isn't just about privacy; it's about protecting your child's emotional well-being. Child psychologists often refer to this as a "loyalty bind" or placing an "emotional burden" on a child. As explained in articles on co-parenting strategies, when children are consistently questioned about the other home, they can develop anxiety, learn to conceal information, or even feel responsible for their parents' emotional reactions. This can lead to them becoming covert messengers, feeling like they're walking a tightrope between two worlds. This burden can lead to a trauma coping mechanism of detaching from the moment—a child checking out when faced with uncomfortable questions. As parents, it's our job to read beyond their words. Is "I don't know" truly ignorance, or is it a plea? Is it a sign they've had enough and just want peace? Our superpower in these moments is self-regulation. Instead of giving in to the urge to ask, let's consciously choose to: 1. Receive them with unconditional love: Focus solely on their presence and reunion. 2. Provide a safe, judgment-free space: Your home is their sanctuary. 3. Practice Parallel Parenting: Your house, your rules. Their house, their rules. Unless there's a safety concern, what happens there is not your responsibility to manage through your child.