Hi Guys and Gals, Just a little update from me; I'm still alive; I'm still working way too hard; I'm still failing at life; I'm struggling mentally; I'm struggling financially; and I'm still on the protocol. I am still alive: Really loving periods of my life, my girls, this community, and generally feeling a whole lot healthier and better all round. I am looking forward to living better and more. I'm still working too hard: I'm struggling to grow my business through a transition from one source of income to another, one big client every 3 to 12 months to lots of smaller local independent smaller clients with smaller payments, etc, feel so thinly spread it hurts sometimes. 105 hour working week last week including travelling across the country, it is just not sustainable so I hope the cycle breaks soon. It is not for the lack of trying, effort, or commitment. I'm failing at life: Despite being generally a good person there are times of extreme fatigue, spiteful people trying to hurt me or mine and I have struggled to hold my tongue and not get aggressive. I have let myself down in a few ways, by letting others provoke me into actions that are not me, but I fell into that trap. I have not dealt with dickheads well and upset some of my grandchildren. I totally lost my shit with one of my daughters husband for belittling, humiliating, and disrespecting her in front of my grandchildren and his mates. If they were not there he would have been in hospital now. My control over that kind of rage has become harder the healthier and older I get, which to me is odd. I will not apologise to an abusive dickhead so everyone hates me and believes I am the villain, this narcissists plays the victim well. Lois understands me and is still talking to me, she said, "I know Jason was a dickhead and I know you love me more than your own life, but I will deal with him as I don't want to lose you by going to jail, not for him, he is not worth it." Between you and this group she is divorcing him for physical and meatal abuse, I was so proud of her in that moment, she said "all I wont is to be like you and mum were back in the day, nothing more, nothing less". She broke my heart right there and then, but I felt so happy and proud she was strong enough to see through all her husbands bullshit and lies.