Public tantrums can feel overwhelming, especially when you feel watched, judged, or unsure of what to do next. In these moments, your child is not trying to embarrass you; they are overwhelmed and struggling to cope. Let’s break this down into simple steps. Step 1: Stay Calm (Even If You Don’t Feel Calm) Your child borrows your nervous system. If you yell, panic, or argue, the tantrum will get bigger. Instead: - Lower your voice. - Keep your words short. - Don’t lecture. You can say: - “I’m here.” - “When you’re calm, we can talk.” - "Breathe." Step 2: Make Sure Everyone Is Safe If your child: - Flops to the floor - Runs - Hits - Throws things Focus on safety first. Move objects away. Gently block if needed. Move to a quieter spot if possible. This is not the time to teach lessons. Step 3: Don’t Give the Tantrum What It Wants This is the hard part. If the tantrum is for: - Candy - A toy - The iPad - Leaving the store And you give it during the tantrum, your child learns: “Tantrums work.” Even if you’re exhausted. Even if people are staring. Try not to give in at that moment. Important: The tantrum might get worse before it gets better. That’s normal. Step 4: Notice the FIRST Sign of Calm The second your child: - Stops screaming - Takes a breath - Stands up - Uses words/speech device Immediately notice it. Say: - “Nice, calming your body.” - “Thank you for using your words.” - "Thank you for telling me what you want." - “That’s better.” Children repeat what gets attention. Step 5: Teach Them What To Do (Before the Next Outing) Tantrums often happen because children don’t know what else to do. So teach simple replacement phrases at home: If they want something: - “Can I have it?” (either verbally or with a speech device) - “Can I earn it?” - “Later?” - "I need help." If they want a break: - “Break, please.” - “All done.” - “Too loud.” Practice these when your child is calm. Praise them big when they use the words.

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