This morning at the gym, Austin and I were having a great shoulder and bicep session. During the workout, he mentioned that he’d love to write a training program for me—one focused on building significant strength and muscle by putting me in a calorie surplus. The plan was to build a solid foundation of muscle now, then eventually transition into a "cut" to lose fat while maintaining that new mass. As he was talking me through his ideas, I felt an overwhelming wave of anxiety, dread, and deep discomfort. The moment he said "calorie surplus," something shifted. I have struggled with disordered eating in many different forms for as long as I can remember. It has always felt like the one area of my life I could never truly control. When I lost 100 pounds with the help of GLP-1, that "food noise" finally went silent. It was one of the most freeing periods of my life because I no longer felt that constant, exhausting push-and-pull with food and sugar. It was just... gone. I’ve been off the medication for over a year now, and while I’ve maintained my weight through an intense and disciplined workout regimen, the last few months have been a struggle. The food noise has returned with a brutal vengeance. As Austin spoke, tears flooded my eyes and I just broke down. I felt that familiar sense of being out of control—a feeling I relate closely to my past relationship with alcohol. But this feels harder. Alcohol is a poison I could cut out entirely, but I can't just quit food. I have to find a way to navigate it every single day. I can’t "call it a day" on eating; I have to do it correctly, and that requirement of balance feels incredibly daunting right now. I don’t have a happy ending to this story just yet. I will keep you all updated on the journey. I’m still in the thick of it. But I know that with @Austin Douglas support, this community, and my own relentlessness, I’ll get there. I wanted to share this for anyone else struggling with something they can't seem to get a grip on.

Tomorrow is a little busy so prep gets done today! Prioritize what is important.

I was thinking about what normal protocol is for stress - you hear a lot of “self-care”…”take a day off”…”do something to relax, like take a walk”. But what if the "secret" to beating stress and anxiety is actually the opposite of relaxing? Most of the stress we feel doesn't actually come from the tasks on our plate—it comes from avoiding them. Think about that one difficult conversation you’re putting off. The more you skirt around it, the bigger it grows in your head. You spend way more energy worrying about it than it would actually take to just have the conversation. Avoidance is the primary fuel for stress. When you stop running and actually "live through" the stress, two cool things happen: 1. You get better at life: Every time you "figure it out" in real-time, you build competence. Competence leads to self-trust, and self-trust is the only real way to feel certain in an uncertain world. 2. Your body adapts: Your nervous system is actually pretty smart. When you face a "scary" situation and survive, your body realizes it doesn't need to hit the panic button so hard next time. Growth happens at the edge This isn't about inviting chaos into your life. It’s just a reminder that growth doesn't happen in the cozy, comfortable center—it happens at the edge of your ability. Next time you feel that hit of fear or procrastination, don't run. Take one small step toward it. You’ll find the only way out is usually straight through. ⚡️ ⬇️💬 Is there something you’ve been putting off because it feels a bit "too much"? What’s one small move you can make on it today?

Hi everyone! I want to become more active in this amazing group of individuals. A few thoughts I had over the past two days that I wanted to share: Yesterday I hit an OHP PR of 100lbs 3x6. I cried. Happy tears. It has taken me years to accomplish this after suffering complete tears of my AC and CC ligaments due to my former “coach” from years ago slamming me into the turf and onto my left shoulder. Yesterday I took the rage I feel when I relive that moment and channeled it into my lifts. I can’t explain how healing that is for me. We all have pain and struggle, but there is something so beautiful about turning those things into something good. I am inspired by each and every one of you. Today I was in the gym alone at 4am. I had Assult bike sprints. It’s week 4 and I wanted to end the block by hitting a PR (cals) 15 seconds all out effort and 1 min cruise x 6 rounds. There is something awesome about finding that next gear in suffering, especially when you are alone. I hit that PR today and thought back to when I was 205lbs…same person, different mindset. I hope you all are having a great week! Keep crushing it in all areas.