Hey brother, I often speak about how important it is for men to praise the woman they love. To let her feel desired, seen, and cherished. Because that’s what the feminine opens to. But here’s what’s rarely talked about: Men need appreciation to open up. It’s how we feel respected, valued, capable. It’s what keeps our effort alive. Men keep doing what they’re appreciated for. But when that appreciation fades… so does the energy we bring. I’ve heard it so many times in my coaching. And I’ve lived it in my own relationships: “She didn’t even thank me for taking her out to dinner and paying for everything.” And when you ask why? “Well… men should pay. That’s just how it is in my culture.” It’s not that we mind paying. Most men are happy to provide. But when our effort becomes expected… Unacknowledged… Taken for granted… That’s when the resentment starts to build. That’s when you start to lose us. The same thing happens in the bedroom. Most men want to please their lover. But if they’re inexperienced or awkward, they’re often met with silence, withdrawal, or subtle criticism—instead of encouragement and appreciation. And slowly, their desire to try fades. Not because they don’t care. But because their effort isn’t welcomed. Here’s the deeper truth: Most men I meet want to grow. They want to be more grounded, more reliable, more ravishing. But instead of appreciation… They’re met with critique. Or worse, indifference. Recently, I had to say something hard to the woman I’m dating: “If you want me to keep putting effort into this relationship, you’ll need to start showing genuine appreciation for the things I do.” Old me would’ve let it fester. Let the resentment build until it killed the intimacy. But this time, I was direct. And it brought us closer. Because erotic leadership isn’t just about what you give, It’s about knowing what you need, and daring to ask for it. Bottom line? As much as a woman wants to be reminded she’s loved… A man needs to be reminded he’s appreciated.

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