Hello lover, There was a period during my 20s that I decided to try being fully celibate for 90 days. It needed multiple attempts, but I eventually succeeded. When I started to be intimate with women again afterward, I decided that I would still not orgasm during it. That had some interesting unforeseen outcomes. The women I was with were so confused why I wasn’t coming. Some of them were satisfied with a quick explanation. Others I really needed to convince that this wasn’t because I didn’t find them sexy, or that there was anything wrong with them. Something else that happened was that when I would orgasm, they would be incredibly more intense. Which wasn’t only great for me, but the women loved seeing me enjoy myself, they found it so much hotter than what they had experienced with other men. There’s much more I could write about this. But the bottom line is this: when I started to be more mindful of when I would orgasm and when I wouldn’t, my whole outlook on sex changed. And only for the better. Which is true for all the men who start playing around with this. I discovered that as men we can learn to be multiorgasmic. That we also have different types of orgasms, something most men have never even heard about. That’s why in week 7 of Reclaim the Fire it’s all about cultivating sexual energy and orgasmic expressions. A fascinating deep dive into male sexuality. Want to know more about Reclaim the Fire? You can read more below. https://gamma.app/docs/Reclaim-the-Fire-yu1lytlghgt6de2 Your intimacy guide, Sanne

Hey lover, Reclaim the Fire originated from the feedback I was getting from my intimate massage clients. These women were so blown away by the journey I was taking them on that many asked me if I could teach their man what I was doing. That’s how the Art of the Erotic Journey was born, and that’s what we cover in week 6. What’s fascinating about the Erotic Journey is that it’s both the underlying current that informs everything you do in the bedroom, and it’s the flavor you sprinkle on top. It’s an entirely different way to approach sex and attraction that eliminates performance pressure, creates more intense interactions, and gives you a playspace that’s infinitely novel and creative. In many ways, everything else we cover in Reclaim the Fire is meant to support and strengthen the Erotic Journey. That’s why it’s right in the middle of the program. Once you understand the Art, and you have practiced what is required to play around with it, you unlock a sexual confidence that makes you feel immensely capable and powerful. How we go about it, I’ll leave for the men who join us to discover. If you want to know more about the program, click the link below. https://gamma.app/docs/Reclaim-the-Fire-yu1lytlghgt6de2 Your intimacy guide, Sanne

Hey lover, Week 5 of Reclaim the Fire is about Dark Masculine Energy and Purpose in Intimacy. Last year I met a man in a polyamorous relationship. Because a lot of my friends were interested in hearing his story, he decided to give a small lecture about how he thinks about polyamory, and more importantly, how he structures his life and relationship around it. A lot of relationship tension arises because people don’t have clear ideas about what purpose that relationship is supposed to have. People tend to want to be in relationships to escape loneliness, because they think it will complete their life in some way, or they feel societal pressure to be in one. Or maybe they just want someone to be intimate with. Those are reasons to find one, but they do not help to manage and navigate that relationship. That’s why having a clear, defined purpose for your relational and intimate life is actually crucial. If growth is a significant element of your life, your relationship needs to accommodate that. If sexual interaction is important to you, you need to set up standards and behaviors that are going to keep that a priority. That’s what made his talk so interesting. Because polyamory inherently creates complex dynamics, you are forced to make the purpose of your relationship as clear as possible. If you don’t, it always erodes your relationship. Regardless of whether it’s monogamous or not. That’s why in week 5 of Reclaim the Fire: The Masculine Path to Polarity, Arousal, and Erotic Leadership, we spend time defining what role intimacy plays in our lives. So our actions can always push us toward having more of it. We also cover Dark Masculinity in week 5, how important that is for a healthy sex life is something the men who join will uncover. If you’re interested in reading more about the full program, you can do that here. https://gamma.app/docs/Reclaim-the-Fire-yu1lytlghgt6de2 Your intimacy guide, Sanne

Hey lovers, I have a new video out. This time about how to be vulnerable with a woman in a way she needs it, and how it should feel the best for you. Always appreciate the view and the likes and all that stuff. Greetings, Sanne

Hey lover, “I’m just letting her take the initiative now.” As soon as he said that, I sighed. I knew exactly where this was going. His sexual advances toward her had been rejected so often that he just resigned to his fate. He’d just wait until she would be in the mood. A clear signal his sex life was already dead. Now, there are many reasons a woman stops wanting to be intimate with her man. Here are a few examples: He isn’t able to pleasure her properly. He’s not stepping up in the relationship. He’s not able to make her feel safe, or provide her with the space to unwind. In his case, he approached her with too much neediness. And when she would be put off by that and reject him, he would respond with moping like a little boy who didn’t get his candy. Now, the reason that I sighed is because waiting for a woman to initiate is like waiting for the room to warm up without turning on the heater first. It’s just unlikely to happen. A woman’s arousal is reflective. She gets turned on by feeling sexy, loved, and hungered for. It’s a man’s desire for her that triggers her arousal. Here’s the difficult balance a man needs to find: You still need to be the one to initiate, but there cannot be an outcome attached to it. As soon as a woman feels forced into intimacy, because otherwise she’ll have to deal with an angry or sad boy, her willingness goes out the window. That’s why in week 4 of Reclaim the Fire: The Masculine Path to Polarity, Arousal, and Erotic Leadership, we cover the Arousal Cycle in greater depth. And we learn how our sexual conditioning gets in the way of sparking the flame of desire. If you’re curious about what else we cover, keep reading this series of posts, or read more about the program here. https://gamma.app/docs/Reclaim-the-Fire-yu1lytlghgt6de2 Your intimacy guide, Sanne