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2 contributions to Funny Money
🔥 AUCTION OVER! THE PROPOSAL THAT RETIRED ME FROM UPWORK
The auction has ended! Congratulations to @Gasper Crepinsek for taking home my very own "Upwork Retirement Proposal" and a big stack of bonuses for the very nice sum of 35,000 pennies! JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, HERE'S WHAT WENT DOWN... Get the exact Upwork proposal template I used to land $159,000 in low-stress retainers while I work 15-hour weeks and travel the world. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ I don't freelance on Upwork anymore. Not because it stopped working. Because ONE proposal template worked so well it retired me. 👉 $159,000 in contracts. 👉 Clients who hired me over 50+ other applicants. 👉 Clients who APOLOGIZED for wasting my time when they couldn't afford me. 👉 $12k retainers from people who'd never met me. Now, I hire people to push the buttons while I look at graphs and tell jokes on Zoom calls. In May, when we go to Japan for 2.5 weeks, other people will keep my machine running while I eat raw fish next to Mt. Fuji. All from Upwork clients. The place everyone says has zero high-paying clients. 🙄 Here’s what we’re gonna do. Grab a walker. Amble on over to the cafeteria and snag a cup of prune juice. Then meet me in the day room and let’s reminisce about the good ol’ days when Upwork was still Elance… 🎉🎉 Welcome to the Upwork Retirement Auction! 🎉🎉 Winner gets the Upwork proposal template that retired me from Upwork—plus, I’ll show you how to “reverse engineer” it for any job your heart desires. Bids start at one cent. Bids can only go UP by one cent. AND... EVERYONE who bids at least one penny in the auction gets a free bonus: The Profile Rescue Kit, which'll fix everything wrong with your profile (that clients actually care about) so you can stop obsessing over which angle to take your next headshot pic. 🤯 But wait, there's more...lol. 🤯 IF... If we get a ton of action on the auction, we'll unlock truckloads of additional hot bonuses for you to stuff in your pockets. One more thing: You're getting the exact proposal structure that pulled six figures out of a platform I no longer compete on.
🔥 AUCTION OVER! THE PROPOSAL THAT RETIRED ME FROM UPWORK
1 like • 19d
@Nick Bandy Haha
0 likes • 19d
@John Bejakovic 😂
What are you reading?
Any bookworms in the house? What are you reading right now? I'm finishing up "Start With No" by Jim Camp. What about you?
What are you reading?
1 like • Feb 16
I’ll throw out some fiction even though this is a group geared toward business… I’m re-reading The First Law trilogy. Great read along with all the subsequent books based on the same world. Joe Abercrombie just has a way of telling great stories. For business, just finished The System Club Letters… absolutely fantastic.
0 likes • Feb 17
@Nick Bandy it’s considered fantasy but I’d say it’s more grimdark. His dialogue is great and some of the fight scenes are downright brutal. His character building is some of the best I’ve read in the genre.
1-2 of 2
Michael Malone
1
2points to level up
@michael-malone-9196
Direct Response Marketer/Strategist

Active 5h ago
Joined Feb 14, 2026
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