I went through and started working on the classroom. I started going through the Alchemy Method. This is really helpful and put so much into perspective for me and brought a lot of understanding to the things I do. Phase 1: Regulate, was helpful to be curious without judgement. I noticed tension in my jaw, shoulders, and thighs, my breath was shallow. Step 2: reconnect I definitely stopped trusting myself a long time ago in all those way, second guessing, ignoring and asking others. I still make a decision and then look to my husband or family like you would do this right? That is so powerful and makes so much sense to me my self doubt comes from disconnecting from myself in order to stay connected to others. I can see why I have this pattern now. Pausing when I want to ask someone else is very helpful so I can look into myself and notice what my yes and my no feels like. Phase 3: Express I do this often where I won't speak up and later I'm beating myself up because I should have. To know all these patterns were because I didn't feel safe help me have more compassion towards myself. It's not that I'm lazy or just stuck in my ways on purpose. There's hope and I can start working on changing these things little at a time. Speaking up what I want for dinner or that I'm uncomfortable both are very doable steps I feel. Thank you so much for all of this help, Insight and steps I can take now. Definitely feeling the saftey in my body is my biggest struggle. I feel like I'm always in activation when I am not intentionally breathing or practicing a tools to regulate. I'm going to check in and notice more often In my day. When I do body scans the quick check in ones I'm tense and my breathing is shallow and often heart racing. After I do a regulation tool like the box breathing and I do a scan I notice my breathing is a little deeper, more rhythmic, my tension is softer, my heart isn't racing and I feel ease, sometimes tingling fingers too.