Jocelyn's Thursday Thought
Recently I was irritated with a friend, but I didn't want her to know about it, so I hid it. I pretended not to be irritated. I thought I was doing a really good job of acting and she would never suspect it. What a ridiculous thought. She didn't know exactly what was wrong, but she knew something wasn't right. My friend was left spinning in confusion, making guesses, and trying to figure out what was going on between us. I was left in a spin also and felt confused, conflicted and unsure what to do about it. This was not kind. This was not me being a good friend. This was not me at my best. This was me being a coward and hiding so that I could try to stay safe and calling it, "being considerate of her feelings." What a load of crap. Do you know what is so much better than pretending? Telling the truth. I'm not talking about blaming someone else for your emotions, but I am talking about being more genuine. So, I gathered up my courage and told her, "I'm struggling with all of this right now and I'm frustrating myself with the way I'm approaching it all. I may need to talk through it with you later, but I need to sort through some of these feelings first and then I will reach out. I love you and I love our friendship, and I know we will figure it out together." That's the opposite of pretending. That's the honest, messy, lovable truth. Next time I'm doing that right from the start. Give it a try the next time you are annoyed with someone you love. I dare you. ---- Thank you, @Jocelyn Ives