Jocelyn's Thursday Thought
The skill of feeling your feelings is tough to master because it's tough to describe. It reminds me of trying to explain to my kids how to ride a bike. You just keep trying and your body will figure it out eventually. So if you are trying to get better at allowing your emotions instead of buffering them away with food, alcohol, shopping, scrolling etc... but you are questioning the effectiveness of your efforts, try doing the opposite for a minute. Try not to feel ANY feelings at all. Block them. Tighten up against them. Really push everything away. Don't allow anything including resistance. Then after a minute or so, do the opposite. Allow anything that comes up. Relax into it. Allow it to be there with you. Repeat this alternating process 3 or 4 times. Block for one minute. Then allow for one minute. Repeat. I did this experiment myself while I was riding in an Uber to the airport when I was feeling particularly anxious, and I found that when I blocked the emotions, my mind also attempted to block other sensations like the cool air of the air conditioning, the sensation of the hot sun on my arm, the tingle of my freshly applied lip gloss and everything else. It felt awful. Empty. Sharp. Then when I allowed myself to relax, I found the release and opening up created a softness. The emotions and sensations moved through me with ease and although the anxiety turned to worry and was still present for the remainder of my ride, it became a mere inconvenience rather than an intolerable emergency. Kinda made me wonder why I had often worked so hard NOT to feel it? Give it a try... It might surprise you too. Have a beautiful week! I love you all, Jocelyn