I'm writing story for my English class based on the quote “We have to heal our wounded world. The chaos, despair, and senseless destruction we see today are a result of the alienation that people feel from each other and their environment.” – Michael Jackson. A few sentences or suggestions on how you would continue the story would be appreciated It was a Thursday morning. The sun reached through the shutter windows, tempting Shaz to look up from Lord of the flies. La di da, she couldn’t do that. The books were full of marks and she wouldn’t catch them if she didn’t read about Simon and his conch. The classroom was filled with the scent of cheap perfume and sweat. Shaz wasn’t paying attention to anything around her; wandering thoughts drowning out the monotonous voice of her teacher and the chattering of her classmates. The analog clock on the wall seemed to tick slower by the second. Ten forty five.. Ten forty six.. Only three and a half hours until she could pack up, and go home, relax, sleep and wake up to a blaring alarm and the panic to see that a few minutes had cost her a public humiliation ritual at 8 in the morning. “Shaz, your turn to read”. Twenty-four pairs of eyes on her as she came to the realisation that she might have been alone in her head but wasn’t in the room; she scrambled to open her book again. She could feel the murmur of disappointment from her teacher as she flipped through the pages with her shaking hands, feeling her face heat up with the guilt and embarrassment as the whispers and muffled snickering from her classmates grew louder and louder. Attempting to hide her red-hot face,she kept her head down and pretended to keep searching amidst the pages and pages when in reality she really had no idea where she had left off from not reading. She could feel her clammy hands melting along with her reputation. “Ummm, chapter 8…” Shaz started to talk, but her trembling voice was quickly interrupted by Mr Facetiousman. “Don’t even bother, I won’t be able to hear you anyway because you speak so quietly”

Stop using big words (that don't explain what you mean). Use exact words from the question. Quick rule: Pick 2 key nouns from the question (e.g., power, identity, conflict) → swap them for more precise words (authority, control, tension). Action (comment ONE thing): Paste your essay question + an exact thesis for it

Breaking down the question and answering each individual part seperately by colour coding really helped me attack all aspects of the question.

I’m starting a weekly midweek thread where you comment ONE sentence from your essay / PTE writing, and I’ll upgrade it into 2 stronger versions (clearer + higher-scoring). The 3 rules we’ll train: 1. One clear claim per sentence 2. Put the point early (cut the warm-up) 3. Swap vague words (good/bad/thing) for concrete nouns + verbs Comment below using this format: - Context (HSC / PTE + topic): - Your sentence: - What you want it to do (argue / explain / analyse): Optional: “What level are you aiming for? (Band 6 / PTE 79+)”

Hi! The next two weeks are quite full on but I want to still squeeze our 5:30pm Co-Working sessions in. Comment here if you're available in the next two weeks for the Friday sessions and I'll move some stuff around to make them happen. 🎯If I get at least 1 person commenting here I'll run the free class. 😁