Exactly a year and a half ago at about this time, my beautiful daughter was taking her last breaths. I'm finding it hard to breathe myself tonight..Reality crashing in. The weight dragging me down to my darkest thoughts and questions. Panic attack threatening to take me out.How did 18 months pass in the blink of an eye?? I stood still while the world around me. But I wasnt stuck. I had found hope in Toni... in the people who befriended me and welcomed me with open arms even on my darkest days... while lifetime friends were shutting their blinds, hopping i didn't" call on them". Even though I felt like my head was spinning, I was given a purpose, which I am so thankful for. I am still clawing my way out of the dark but I now know why I'm still here and didn't simply break. I had friends here who helped me find my scattered pieces. I had Toni to be the."gold" mending all my broken edges together again. She is an amazing coach, incredible teacher, inspirational mentor, deeply loved friend and cherished family member. I have things to look forward to and a reason to get up each day. So even if tonight the silence is so loud it's deafening and my covers feel like cement pushing down on me... i know the sun will rise tomorrow and me with it (hopefully). I know that even though I will always feel this empty hole in my chest, I can still fill my life with love and beauty. It's just so dang hard to not feel guilty about even wanting that for myself. But with friends like all of you... who GET IT... I am quite sure I'll be able to continue standing. And I know if I fall, you willl be there to catch me. 💜🩵

These were my thoughts on the 4th of April; This past year has been one of the hardest journeys any of us could have imagined. Grief has come in waves—sometimes quiet and heavy, sometimes overwhelming and unexpected. We’ve felt sadness, anger, confusion, and even moments of guilt for laughing or smiling again. Every emotion has been real, and every one of them has been a reflection of how deeply we love her. There isn’t a single day that has gone by without thinking of Sonja. Not one moment where she hasn’t been missed. The pain of losing her has changed us all, and in many ways, it always will. But I also know that I can’t live in the “what ifs” or in what could have been. As hard as it is, I won’t dwell there. Instead, I choose to honor Sonja’s memory by focusing on the beautiful life she did live—the love she gave, the joy she brought, and the light she left behind in all of us. So today, as much as this day marks one year without her, I’m choosing to see it differently. I’m choosing not to focus on the day we lost her—but on the 6,093 days we had her. Because to me, 6,093 days will always be greater than one. 6,093 days of her laughter. 6,093 days of her light. 6,093 days of memories, love, and moments that shaped who she was and who we are because of her. Those days mattered. Her life mattered. And her love didn’t end—it lives on in every one of us, in the way we remember her, speak her name, and carry her forward. Today is not just about grief. It’s about honoring Sonja—her life, her spirit, and the love she gave so freely. It’s about holding onto those 6,093 days and letting them shine brighter than the darkness of this one. Thank you, Toni 🫶🏼

Hey everyone. I thought i would start the conversation on who is going to the retreat in August. I can't wait!!! I thought we could get to know one another, coordinate some travel plans if need be... in case we want to ride the train together or share ride fares! I will be arriving at LaGuardia at 8am on Thursday and won't be leaving until Monday morning. I know Jen and I plan to share a room on Sunday night (somewhere btwn manhattan and the airport) but if more are staying Sun night maybe we can all stay at the same hotel or go out for dinner! Just a brief intro for those of you who don't know me yet.. I'm Katrina and I lost my 19yr daughter in Oct 2024. I became a grief coach in June 2025. I do all I can to always carry my daughter with me in any new endeavors, as well "passing forward" the kindness and unconditional love she taught me during her life. I will be running support groups here on Skool within the next few months too! I can't wait to meet all of you here...and then in PERSON!! Sending love to all of you!! ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜💗