I mentioned in a previous comment that sometimes I go through periods of what I call "divine sickness" where I get overwhelmed and stuff comes up and demands my attention, and I feel out of control.... A couple of days ago I experienced something very strange... It started Tuesday morning. I had come out of a wonderful time of meditating and set out to work on continuing to design a new website, (was 4 days into it) when everything went wonky, all the elements were bigger than normal and all the code messed up and I had to erase all my work and start over. I decided to take a break and go for a walk and a couple of minutes into that my right leg below the knee became very heavy and I was losing feeling in my foot and I limped back to the house and thought I maybe had thrombosis, a blood clot below the knee, was in pain for half an hour. Headed to the hospital to have a doctor examine me, when I got there I experienced a visual migraine and was dizzy seeing those rainbow energy patterns, Doc examined me and couldn't find anything wrong. When I got home many hours later could only sleep. I woke up in the night and went to back to my office to meditate and do some work, a few minutes later there was a bunch of noise in the next door storage area, I opened the door there was a strange cat fighting with one of my own, the stray cat ran into my office and was jumping over my bookcases, bouncing off my computer, knocking things onto the floor, busted a pot, etc. and punched a hole in my window screen, total chaos for a few minutes. I opened another door and the crazy cat ran out. Next day when I went to the office I saw that the crazy cat had punched a hole through my window, while I was sleeping, but was not there. Crazy day, never experienced anything like it. Don''t know what to think.

I've had a wild week! I felt some guilt for starting this community and then - somewhat - disappearing for a week. But in good cause - I've been so ill; diarrhea, physically sick, cough, cold, back aches constantly for 4 days... even before yesterday's news I knew it has been a deep multi-layer cleansing. I've been watching old 'energetic scaffolding' being dismantled across my back. This was an old pattern of trying to life up the world around me. There is no one to 'lift up', right? You are exactly where you need to be, as am I! It's another level of acceptance in this beauty of life. The news I found out yesterday was that my Nan Joy passed away in the night, at 96. And there no coincidences. I've felt this whole week was in process with her. I cried with so much sweet softness around my heart when I heard the news. Equally beautiful it is her time, as she was struggling with dementia for at least 3 years. So there's grief, but also sweet relief and spaciousness. And love, and sadness. And it's all part of this beautiful trip of life. I felt to share that update with you all. I look forward to sharing more in this new space, "Mystics in the Matrix." soon. Blessings, Darren