For me, it's about commitment and trust. When I was a young man, a zillion years ago, I was able to maintain casual relationships with more than one partner for short periods of time. I found, however, that I was not able to really let myself go and truly fall in love. I just never felt that I could trust that the other person would really be there for me or committed to me on a long-term basis. I've always been a person who was looking to my future and what the long-term would entail so a monogamous relationship ended up being critical to my personal needs and vision for my life. I don't know or really care if my husband may have had a physical encounter at some point with another guy but it never entered our life together and never threatened the trust and commitment that have been essential elements of our marriage (along with good times, dogs, and a shared sense of humor). I have always respected the choices that others have made in their lives and understand that an ethical non-monogamous relationship can work, but I also know what works for me. Forty-five years together and a life built on trust and commitment have been my good fortune and they would never have happened if our relationship had not been monogamous.

@Alvin Ibanez my husband has had two knee replacements and one hip. None of them were fun but the difference in his quality of life was fabulous. You will have a whole new life once you recover. Stick with the physical therapy and don’t skip on the pain pills when you need them and never let up on the ice. You’re going to do great!

I struggled to meet my fitness goals this week. Didn’t sleep all that well and my energy was low. I felt like an old man and that feeling always depresses me. Fitness is a huge priority for me

I wasn't sure that I belonged here because of my age and situation in life, but Frederik encouraged me to participate after our interactions on Threads and I am very happy to be here. I am really interested in getting to know members of the group and to understand some of the challenges younger gay men are facing today and how that is different or the same as when I was a young gay man. I live in the country and while we have several gay couples in long-term relationships as friends, I miss the regular interactions with gay men and the kinds of friendships that they represent. I also feel that I have something to give to others based on age and experience and being helpful and supportive are principal goals in my life right now. This all feels a little egocentric as I look at what I have written but I think I still have the capacity to learn and to grow and I want to share what has worked for me and to continue to develop as a person and as a gay man.

As I look back over the 50 years since I came out, 45 of which have been with my partner/husband, I remember how much sexual contact seemed to drive superficial gay interactions. It would play on my own insecurities but also those of my partners at the time. The emphasis was on both physical attractiveness and physical performance and this usually made it hard to relax and just enjoy each other's company. My sense is that things have not improved today but if anything have been made worse by social media and the dating aps. Relationships need to be built on mutual interests, good times, shared experiences, and a sense of humor and that can only come with time and patience and a willingness to recognize that the physical elements of a relationship are just one piece of a much larger dynamic. While I've experienced love that seemed to come out of nowhere and slap me in the face, I've also been fortunate to experience love that has grown naturally out of friendship and a closeness that was built on more solid ground. I don't know if this narrative is at all helpful to the group but I want to be here to share the experiences of others and to be a supportive friend.