I recently went to a professional development seminar where a very good friend was speaking and it was really nice to see her and other colleagues. I had a lot of spoons that day! I haven’t been to anything like this in three years, I’m retired so I really don’t need to attend these things anymore. I ran into some friends who I haven’t seen in years and we did the usual catching up stuff. When they asked me “how have you been?” I told them about my cancer diagnosis, its progression and what treatment has been like and they were dumbfounded. These are all medical professionals mind you and they all said in one way or another, “but you don’t look sick”. I had a flashback to an essay by Christine Miserandino from 2003, “The Spoon Theory” in which she rights about a time she told a close friend about her experience living with lupus. I told my friends that some days I’ve got a lot of spoons and some days I don’t have many. They looked at me like I had lost my mind. I referred them to the essay. I’m not at all ashamed to take great ideas for other people and apply them in my life, but I always make sure to give credit where credit is due. If you haven’t heard of the spoon theory, I highly recommend that you research it. I think it’s a great way to help people understand what it’s like when someone is dealing with any type of chronic debilitating or life limiting illness and how they have to plan for the most effective use of their precious energy.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/08/17/the-doulas-who-help-us-die?position=8&category=fascinating_stories&scheduled_corpus_item_id=131fe1b2-aa09-4290-b27f-cadf2ea1d970&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.newyorker.com%2Fmagazine%2F2026%2F08%2F17%2Fthe-doulas-who-help-us-die Really well-written!

Have you ever seriously considered who are the people that you absolutely 100% can count on to be there for you no matter what? I remember when my son was alive he would often tell me that I had “so many friends” and I would tell him that I know a lot of people but that I only have a handful of friends. Recently I decided to make a list of my close friends and I was able to list about 10 to 15 people. All of them have said that I could call them “any time”. I do believe that they care deeply and would try to help me if I needed them, BUT… Then I asked myself a difficult question. How many of them are my “Who” people, my Ride or Die people? It took me a few days of deep thinking and I realized that I only have 4-5 “Who” people in my life. I still have a lot of people that I am very close to and they would definitely be there for me if they could, but I also know that they would not be there no matter what. They aren’t my “WHO”, my Ride or Die people and I am not theirs. That doesn’t mean we love or care for each other any less. That’s just the reality of things.

I just started a new book, “Two Chairs” by Bob Beaudine. Some of you probably already read it. I highly recommend it. It deals with a way to approach the challenges we all face in life. It is Christian faith based but I believe the basic principles can be applied regardless of what a person believes.