Today is a good day to die" originates from the Lakota Sioux battle cry Hóka-hey, meaning "let's go" or "today is a good day to die". The phrase can be interpreted as a call to live authentically and without regrets, by confronting mortality and focusing on what truly matters. May we all be blessed with today being a good day to die.

This is a community for honest, tender conversations about life, death, grief, and legacy. To keep it safe and usable for everyone, we agree to the following: 👉1. Lead with kindness and respect - No harassment, bullying, shaming, or personal attacks. - No hate speech or discrimination of any kind (race, gender, sexuality, religion, politics, age, ability, etc.). - Disagree with ideas, not with people. 👉2. Confidentiality is sacred - What is shared here, stays here. - Do not share someone else’s story, screenshots, or posts outside the community without explicit permission. - Remove identifying details if you’re sharing an example in a teaching context. 👉3. This is not medical, legal, financial, or mental health advice - Nothing in this community replaces professional medical, legal, financial, or mental health care. - You may share your experience (“What helped me was…”), but do not tell others what they must do. - Do not diagnose, prescribe, or offer step-by-step instructions for treatment, medications, or legal actions. 👉4. Crisis and safety - This community is not a crisis service. - If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or thinking about harming themselves or others, contact local emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area right away. - You may say, “I’m having a hard time,” but please avoid graphic details of self-harm, suicide, or violence. 👉5. Speak from your own experience - Use “I” language. Share your own story, beliefs, and questions. - We honor many spiritual, religious, and philosophical perspectives here. - No preaching, converting, or insisting that your belief is the only “right” way. 👉6. Gentle with the details - We talk about death, dying, and grief—but we don’t need gore. - Avoid graphic medical descriptions, violent detail, or anything likely to be traumatizing. - When in doubt, keep it simple and respectful. 👉7. Boundaries, DMs, and emotional labor - Do not pressure other members for 1:1 support, therapy, or “fixing.” - Ask before moving a conversation into private messages. - If you are a professional (therapist, doula, attorney, etc.), do not solicit clients or give individualized professional advice here.

Put the kettle on. 😉 You made it here, and that already tells me something important: you’re willing to look at the parts of life most people avoid—death, grief, aging, endings—and you’d rather not do that alone. 👥This space is for people who feel the tug of questions like: - What do I want to do with the time I have left? - How do I carry my grief and still live? - How do I prepare—practically and emotionally—so I don’t leave a mess behind? Here, we talk honestly about living and dying, love and loss, plans and paperwork, spirit and practicality. We make room for both the kettle (conversation, comfort, everyday life) and the candle (mortality, memory, sacredness of our limited time). 👉How this community works: You’ll see different programs and posts here—like 365 — A Year To Live and Advanced Care Planning—but underneath it all is the same heartbeat: - Tell the truth about life and death. - Learn together, not alone. - Take small, brave steps toward living and dying in alignment with your values. -  You are welcome to come exactly as you are: curious, scared, hopeful, tired, grieving, unsure, or all of the above. 🙌Introduce yourself (in a way that actually matters) When you’re ready, say hello in the comments below. You can answer any of these prompts—just what feels right: 1. What season of life are you in right now, in a few words? (Examples: “Midlife and re-evaluating everything,” “Fresh in grief,” “Caregiver mode,” “Aging and taking stock.”) 2. What quietly brought you to Kettle & Candle? A loss, a diagnosis, a birthday, a near-miss, a deep curiosity, a professional calling? 3. When you think about death, grief, or aging, what feeling shows up first? (No need to be poetic. “Terrified,” “numb,” “relieved to finally talk about it” all count.) 4. What is one hope you have for yourself in this space over the next year? (Big or small: “Get my paperwork started,” “Not feel so alone,” “Make peace with a part of my story,” etc.) 5. Is there a small comfort or ritual that helps you feel grounded lately? (Tea, walking, gardening, journaling, music, prayer, sitting in the sunshine…)

Howdy y’all from Texas! Looking forward to this journey with you guys!!