I happen to love the grey, cold quiet days of late January into mid March. In theory, the outside world of obligations, commitments, festivities, and have to dos diminishes. I have to confess, I enjoyed Covid for all the same reasons. A new noise has developed however, My cat's insistent meow to go out. I photographed a magnificent Bobcat in my yard the other day, We are still snow covered here and I believe he/she has taken up residence in my farmer neighbors pig barn ( now empty) So puss has lost his freedom unless I join him outside to keep watch. I have been out 4 times today already, Enough!!

I’m starting chemotherapy today for leukemia/blood cancer. I was diagnosed in 2022. Four years without needing treatment was great, but things progressed over the past year and it’s time. You all have helped me become more authentic with my life and I appreciate you!!

I pulled a couple of old notebooks out of my closet to use as journals for this class and found some writing in one of them that was from a silent retreat I was on more than a decade ago. I don't know the exact date but it appears to be from around 2012 as I write about my parents and obviously they were still alive at that time. Anyway, I thought I'd share one of the things I wrote. I have always wanted to, felt called to, pulled to, write my story. I've never taken the time to actually do it, but this is what I wrote on that retreat 14 years ago. The Story of Me I am the youngest of six children, 5 girls and 1 boy. Born to the most amazing parents, a living example of God's love and mercy. The church (Catholic) was our life. It was our education, our friends, our socializing, everything. At a very young age I felt the presence of God. His love, mercy, and compassion. Growing up with four older sisters certainly came with its challenges, but it was a gift as well. There was always someone to play with, talk to, fight with, cry with, and hug. We were best friends and mortal enemies, confidants and co-consipirators. We shared a room for most of our childhood, a bed, and always a bathroom. There was no escape! That's probably why I like living alone so much now. The two oldest, Ann and Barbara, went off to college while I was still pretty young so most of my time at home was without them. Ann got married when I was 8 and Barbara when I was 9. They both had their first born when I was 10, both boys. I loved being an aunt and they took advantage of that (in a good way). Saying "aunts change dirty diapers," etc. Being so young I was very close to my nephews and the rest of my neices and nephews that followed. Except most of my sister Cassie's kids, but that will come later. When I was 11, my world as I knew it changed forever. My favorite uncle, who was also a priest, was murdered. Two men robbed the rectory where he lived, killing him, his housekeeper, and a nun that was visiting. They were found stabbed downstairs and my uncle was found upstairs in his bedroom, shot in the back of his head.

Peaceful Saturday to you all. I wanted to tell you how much I am looking forward to tomorrow night and the coming year, together, as we discover and share some pretty " big deal" stuff. In reviewing my course work from January 2025 I find that I am more committed to making the time for the class work this time around. It is of course, the more you put into something, the more you get back from it. Knowing what I did do in 2025, a fair amount but not nearly enough, compared to my intentions for 2026, I am amazed to reflect on just how much I did grow over the last year, how although more fearful of death in some respects, I am more prepared to embrace that day when it arrives. I am committing to Pam, to you all (it will keep me accountable) and myself, to keep a gratitude journal this time, I managed to side step that for the last 365 days. It is an honor to be at the table with each of you, here we go....pass the potatoes.

Has anyone picked up the book “The Pivot Year”? Author is Brianna Wiest. I found it helpful for journaling this past year. Wondered if anyone else had enjoyed it/found it helpful. I didn’t use all of the time however on the days I was struggling to journal, it gave me a good starter question.