So, here is the thing, I know it wasn't meant to hurt me. Nevertheless I felt attacked. What has happened? I shared something vulnerable from my past in a group to explain why I think ADHD tests and IQ tests are helpful tools. And the response was, that is stupid to pay for an IQ test, as you can get them in the same detail for free. And that came from someone who is "in the industry" (an activist in the neurodivergence scene), so, he obviously knows better than me and I basically felt invalidated and belittled. Especially as he then raige quit the group and left, making me feel like I was the one who ultimately made him leave (although the discussion was going on for a while before that and others also had something to say in the matter.) Shortly after that, I was a shaking, crying mess. Which is interesting because I though I am not very much ffected by RSD. Most of the time, I can handle rejections pretty well. I am a yoga teacher, people leave my classes all the time, they give sometimes really strange feedback, because they didn't like an aspect (of yoga most of the time, but of course, they blame me), and don't take that personally. It does sometimes make me think about it for a long time, but I can still shrug it off and not let it affect me too much. So, now, why did this instance throw me off the rails? I think it is because I was sharing something very painful from my childhood. Having someone basically yelling at me after I shared that just hit different. And it is still me overreacting, because I know, it wasn't about my childhood exprience, it was about something else, and it wasn't personal toward me. So, RSD can hit any time. No matter how good you think you are at keeping it in check. But, what can you do about it? So, here is what I do. 1. Give my emotions the room they need. It's ok to cry, at home, on my own, nobody sees my tears, so I can just let it flow. Feels good and releases the perceived stress. 2. Ask other people who were in that conversation too, how they see it. That is very helpful, as it is a third party view on it. Me questioning myself, if I did something wrong is debilitating. Having others giving me constructive feedback bring me back to reality, giving me back the validation that felt taken away beforehand. 3. Try to see it from the perspective of the other person. What was going on in their head? Looking at this particular instance, I would say, there was some RSD going on in this persons mind, too. That makes me instantly feel more connected and empathetic towards the "offender", who really isn't an offender, just another person with emotions going high. 4. Allow myself some soothing. A hot shower, a cup of tea, some chocolate. Cuddling with my cats. Something grounding and nourishing.

On your toughest ADHD days, which tiny sensory action helps you come back into your body? Lately I’ve been reaching for cordyceps and eleuthero. Just something small to help me stay balanced, especially on the rougher days when my system feels a little overcooked. I am curious what everyone else gravitates toward. What’s your go-to grounding and self spothing thing?

Hey guys, bear with me as I need somewhere to brain dump. So I went to a networking group today and shared how I used to be an addict (heroin addict living in a squat 20 years ago). I have no idea why I shared in my 5 min talking time, I can tell I am the only one in the group to have had that kind of life in the past. I think my question is, is it possible to include Addiction recovery into my business when I want to work with women and girls who have ADHD and struggling. I am interested in the hormonal affects but know I have a lot to offer those struggling with addiction. Should I separate it or include it. I hope this makes sense.

I am constantly inspired by the ladies in this community... The single moms raising kids on their own while building a business. The mommas getting 2 hours of sleep and still showing up for their kids and their partner and their business. And the ladies without kiddos who are blazing ahead in their career. You ladies are truly a force of nature. And y'all don't get enough praise. Here's to you!! Shout out to @Alison St. Romain @Rebecca Bautista @Amber Kay @Nancy Burditt @Sophia Buchanan @Melissa Fuller @Melissa Fuller @Verena Venus @Reema Rana @Yukta Kandhari @Micah Walker @Michaela Juby @Danna Owen, MS @Rebecca Pay @Pamela Igwe @Lydia Wilmsen @Zoe Plant @Samanda Rasmussen @Becky Teresa @Heather Di Rocco @Tori Cadry @Sam Rathling @Amber Radfar @Dorothea Röhrig @Jenny Landis @Kat Oakley @Tiffany Noel Taylor @Kirsten Mathews @Emily Satel @Cara Oyler @Michele Chapman @Elizabeth Hadzic @Kittie KaBoom @Tina Maria @Natasha Fernandez @Jen Ritchie @Wayla Freedom @Sam Miles @Denielle Farrow

Hormonal changes, whether it’s perimenopause, menopause, or the monthly cycle, can be a rollercoaster for any woman. For those of us with ADHD, the ups and downs can be even more intense. Emotional overwhelm, sleep disruption, and the constant buzz of an ADHD mind can make it all too easy to reach for a glass of wine or another substance as a way to dial down the noise. But what about when that “just to take the edge off” becomes a regular pattern? Grey area drinking or using isn’t about obvious addiction. It’s about that subtle, often silent space between social use and dependency, the space where you notice your habits are shifting, maybe you’re feeling more guilt or anxiety, and you start to wonder if you’re coping or just numbing. For hormonal women with ADHD, the challenges are layered. Impulsivity, emotional sensitivity, and difficulty with self-regulation can make that grey area even greyer. Add in the pressure to keep up, mask your struggles, or “just get on with it,” and it’s no wonder so many of us find ourselves questioning our relationship with alcohol or other substances. If this resonates, know you are not alone. There is no shame in noticing your patterns or wanting something different for yourself. Real strength lies in curiosity, self-compassion, and reaching out for support, whether from a friend, a coach, or a professional. Here is your reminder that you deserve clarity, connection, and freedom from shame, no matter where you are on your journey. If you’d like to talk more about this, my inbox is open. Let’s break the silence together and create healthier, kinder ways to cope.