I hope this is okay to talk about here. My mother died in 2017 at 75 years old. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. My mother and I were so close. It was the worst pain I. have ever felt and I was in a deep depression for at least a year. It took me almost a year to go back to work. Increasingly I have become more and more afraid that I will become sick and die. I had an ovarian cancer scare about 2 years ago and I think that has made it even worse. My 51st birthday is in a few days. On and off for the past few years if I think about how much time I might have less I can cry. I can remember my mother at my age and now she is gone. It wasn't that long ago that she was my age. That's what I keep thinking about. Do I only have 24 years left? The past 24 have gone in the blink of an eye. My daughter is 16 and very attached to me. She doesn't have any siblings. I NEVER want her to feel the pain I felt losing my mother. I can't leave her. What if she needs me? Who will be there for her? I know children grow up but I never stopped needing my mother. She had helped me so much even as an adult. But I also have a sister who is 9 years older than me that I can rely on. She is my best friend. Who will my daughter have? I'm even having occasional panic attacks. Yes, death can come at any time, but the older you get the more likely it will become. Help me! I've been told I should talk to someone but how will that help when this is something based on reality? It's not irrational.

Hello all, I wrote this a few weeks ago so go gentle on me, lol! Anyway I hope it brings some comfort to your grief. I’m not very tech so hopefully this works.