Just completed the ADHD Awakening Assessment and one realization rearranged everything: I'm not someone who "can't focus." I'm someone whose focus is condition-dependent - creative work, self-imposed deadlines, meaningful output - and when those conditions are present, I focus so hard I have to rip myself away. Same engine that built my website. Same engine that built PodWallets.com. Time to stop apologizing for my operating system and start engineering the conditions on purpose. ADDING HERE: I always feel I can’t focus. Long to do lists and stress around what is most important to do next. I need to work on VISION and get CLARITY and kick my own ass with some self-impossed deadlines!

Just completed all 5 sections of the Awakening Assessment. Turns out the "high that lasts a few days" I get from creating something is actually a map to my real work - and PodWallets.com isn't a side project, it's the intersection of everything I've been circling for years. Ready to see the full picture.

I really appreciated Jim's guided meditation today. Funny enough, after I laid down on the floor and he said to notice where we carried things in our bodies, I noticed my 8-month-PT-shoulder. I'm still not sure if it is the location of my open-loop burden, but I'm sure paying attention. @Kurt Jennings , you asked about meditation pathways. This is one that I find very illuminating: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/648367dc04b64b65f3626d6d/t/65611601bab60e7abe6480d1/1700861450113/NW+%7C+Inner+Child.pdf

Section 2 of the Awakening Assessment just showed me that my overachieving isn't really about ambition. It traced back to being a kid who only felt fully seen during one-on-one time with my nan, away from the competition with my sisters (all in my head). I'm still chasing that feeling through grades, work, and accomplishments I won't even let myself rest from.

Section 2 of the Awakening Assessment just showed me that my lifelong perfectionism isn't about high standards. It's become an excuse to not finish things, creating endless variations instead of pulling the trigger on the business I actually believe in. The mask I built to succeed is now the thing blocking the success.