This is where the work starts to work. You’ve made it this far 17 days in. And right about now… it’s normal to feel it. The dip. The boredom. The “I’ll catch up tomorrow.” The quiet voice whispering, “Does this even matter?” It does. This is where new habits start to form —right past the point where old ones used to quit. Your brain is fighting for the familiar. But your heart? It’s learning a new rhythm. You have built awareness Have practiced discipline Now it’s time to take heart. Because real growth doesn’t always feel like winning. Sometimes it feels like dragging yourself forward one small promise at a time. This is the middle — the forge. Where old patterns burn off and new ones begin to form. Reflection:“Where do I usually quit — and what’s one small thing I can keep doing today?” Why It Matters: The ADHD brain craves novelty but transformation comes through consistency. This is where you prove to yourself that the new version of you isn’t built on motivation, shame, guilt, fear, anger... It is built with heart. You are not behind. You are building. Take heart, stay steady, and keep showing up. The man you’re becoming is built right here in the middle.

Let me tell you what I’m learning lately… For a long time, I felt broken. Every day felt like I was behind — chasing something I couldn’t catch .Running hard, collapsing harder. Then carrying all the shame for not keeping up. I was living in the story build on the traditional normative framework: “There’s a defect. I must fix it.” “If I do good → I’m good.”“If I do bad → I’m bad.” But ADHD isn’t a isnt a flaw. It is a brain that was never explained — just blamed. I spent years trying to fix what looked wrong on the outside. Turns out, I just needed to stop fighting the way I was built. The moment I stopped forcing a “normal” routine and started designing for my wiring - everything shifted I’m not broken. I’m just wired for a different rhythm. When I build for hyper‑focus and rest… When I honor the way my brain cycles through energy… When I let go of shame and get curious about the pattern…I feel different. I move different. I lead different. So now… I don’t fight ADHD. I leverage it. Not just to survive the day — but to build forward. Instead of: Trying to eliminate the “symptoms”I’m learning to leverage them: 💥 For Dopamine — I design my day with small wins, movement, and novelty. 🎯 For Hyperfocus — I block time, limit distractions, and go deep. For a Fast Brain with Slow Brakes — I slow the transition, not the momentum. 🌪️ For Emotional Intensity — I pre-label my emotions before they take over. ⏰ For Time Blindness — I use external timers and visible clocks. (Still have work to do here) 🔭 For Monotropism — I respect the deep dive before expecting a pivot. And I also leverage for understanding: 💬 Alexithymia — I learn the language of my body before it shuts down. 🛠️ Production-based Identity — I remind myself: rest is also productive. 🏠 Context Shifting — I examine how ADHD shows up at work, home, and play. 📉 The Overwhelm of Crowds and Boredom — I name the dissonance of what I dont want and what I do. 🧱 Criticism + Rebellion Wiring — I stop reacting to imagined judgment.

Awareness + Pause = Responding from the Heart. You have learned to be aware You have learned to pause. Now it’s time to connect those two, to bring your awareness into the moment before you speak. Because most of the damage in relationships doesn’t come from what we feel. It comes from what we say when we are flooded. That split-second between emotion and reaction that is where love either builds or breaks. 🧠 WHY THIS MATTERS (FOR ADHD DADS) You have probably noticed this pattern: You feel misunderstood, criticized, or dismissed. Your heart spikes. Your brain scrambles to make sense of it. Words fly before your values catch up. Then comes the guilt. The distance. The shame. You don’t want to hurt anyone but your emotions hit fast, and your mouth moves faster. That’s not bad intent. That’s a brain-body mismatch. The ADHD nervous system feels deeply and reacts quickly. So if you want to lead with heart you have to slow the transfer. TODAY’S MISSION: THE PAUSE BEFORE THE WORD When you feel that wave hit frustration, defensiveness, hurt, irritation Try this sequence: 1️⃣ Awareness:Catch it early. Name it: “I’m feeling the flood right now.” 2️⃣ Pause: Breathe once. Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Feel your feet on the floor. 3️⃣ Respond from the Heart :Ask yourself before speaking: “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be close?” “Is what I’m about to say going to build trust or burn it?” Then choose words that reflect who you want to be not just what you feel in that second. Reflection: “Today, I caught myself before reacting.I chose to respond with calm instead of defense.That felt like strength, not silence.” WHY THIS MATTERS (FOR FAMILY) Your awareness shows maturity. Your pause shows control. Your response shows love. And when your family sees all three working together they start to trust your heart again. Not the words you promise. The consistency they feel. That’s how connection starts to rebuild one calm breath between emotion and expression.

Maybe you like Brussel sprouts. But I know plenty of people who dont. But that is the squirrel of the conversation. The real issue. Maybe it's not procrastination that's the problem. Maybe it's the system you're trying to function within. For most of us with ADHD, we’ve been taught the same story: "Do the hard thing first. Earn your reward. Push through. Stop being lazy." It’s the "brussel sprouts before dessert" model of motivation. And while it might work for neurotypical brains, for ours? It sets us up to fail over and over again. Here’s the truth: When you procrastinate, your brain isn't broken. It’s actually trying to help you. By delaying the task, you're subconsciously trying to create urgency, emotion, or discomfort all of which give your brain a dopamine jolt strong enough to get started. In other words, procrastination is your brain manufacturing stimulation in the absence of built-in motivation. But it comes with a cost: 👉 Guilt 👉 Self-shame 👉 That brutal inner dialogue: "Why can’t I just get this done?" And that’s what really damages your self-esteem—not the delay, but the story you tell yourself about it. Here’s another way, one that works with your brain: 🔁 Flip the script. Instead of punishing yourself into motion, prime your brain on purpose. Say: “I’m going to set a 20-minute timer, do something enjoyable that boosts my mood, and then I’ll move into the thing I’ve been avoiding.” You're not giving yourself a dopamine feast or hyper focus leading to time blindness. You are giving your brain what it was going to chase anyway but with intention, compassion, and control. This is Designing for Dopamine. It is not cheating. It’s working with your brain, not against it. It is how we stop relying on procrastination as an emergency parachute and start building a motivational runway we actually want to use. Maybe it’s not that you have failed the system. Maybe the system failed you. 🔥 Dessert first. Then the brussel sprouts. Let’s go.

Lead with empathy. Feel deeply and stay steady. Most ADHD husbands and dads wear their heart on their sleeve. You feel fast. You love hard (Stay out of the gutter @Doug Leskun) You are all in until you’re overwhelmed, hurt, or misunderstood. You can go from passion to pain in seconds. From connection to withdrawal in a heartbeat. It’s not because you don’t care. It is because you care deeply. Your emotions are loud and they come in color. But when love hits highs and lows that fast, it can make closeness feel risky. WHY THIS MATTERS I read a quote recently: “People with ADHD struggle to remember what they love most in the world, but they can remember, with perfect clarity, the things that hurt them most.” That is the paradox. Your heart is wide open but when it’s hurt, it locks down real hard. You want connection, but your nervous system says, “Not safe.” So you protect. You pull back. You focus on fixing not feeling. But here’s the truth: You can’t build connection from behind armor. And you can’t lead your family from emotional distance. THIS WEEK’S MISSION TAKE HEART This week, we practice the discipline of emotional openness. Not oversharing. Not breaking down. Just letting your heart be part of the room again. That starts with one small shift:When emotion hits instead of reacting, stay curious. Ask: “What’s this feeling trying to tell me?” “Is it about now or something old showing up again?” This is how you start winning at home the same way you win at work: Not through control, but through connection. Not by fixing, but by feeling and leading through it. Reflection: “Today, I noticed my emotions faster and judged them less.” “That small pause made connection possible again.” WHY THIS MATTERS (FOR DADS) You don’t lose respect when you lead with heart You gain trust. Your kids don’t need a perfect dad they need a dad who stays present, even when it’s hard. Your partner doesn’t need you to fix every problem they need to feel safe in your presence again.