Oct 25 • General discussion
What I Have Been Learning
Let me tell you what I’m learning lately…
For a long time, I felt broken.
Every day felt like I was behind — chasing something I couldn’t catch
.Running hard, collapsing harder.
Then carrying all the shame for not keeping up.
I was living in the story build on the traditional normative framework:
“There’s a defect. I must fix it.”
“If I do good → I’m good.”“If I do bad → I’m bad.”
But ADHD isn’t a isnt a flaw.
It is a brain that was never explained — just blamed.
I spent years trying to fix what looked wrong on the outside.
Turns out, I just needed to stop fighting the way I was built.
The moment I stopped forcing a “normal” routine and started designing for my wiring - everything shifted
I’m not broken. I’m just wired for a different rhythm.
When I build for hyper‑focus and rest…
When I honor the way my brain cycles through energy…
When I let go of shame and get curious about the pattern…I feel different.
I move different.
I lead different.
So now… I don’t fight ADHD.
I leverage it.
Not just to survive the day — but to build forward.
Instead of: Trying to eliminate the “symptoms”I’m learning to leverage them:
💥 For Dopamine — I design my day with small wins, movement, and novelty.
🎯 For Hyperfocus — I block time, limit distractions, and go deep.
For a Fast Brain with Slow Brakes — I slow the transition, not the momentum.
🌪️ For Emotional Intensity — I pre-label my emotions before they take over.
⏰ For Time Blindness — I use external timers and visible clocks. (Still have work to do here)
🔭 For Monotropism — I respect the deep dive before expecting a pivot.
And I also leverage for understanding:
💬 Alexithymia — I learn the language of my body before it shuts down.
🛠️ Production-based Identity — I remind myself: rest is also productive.
🏠 Context Shifting — I examine how ADHD shows up at work, home, and play.
📉 The Overwhelm of Crowds and Boredom — I name the dissonance of what I dont want and what I do.
🧱 Criticism + Rebellion Wiring — I stop reacting to imagined judgment.
I don’t need to eliminate who I am.
I need to understand who I am — and build with it.
Why this matters:
Most of us ADHD men don’t audit the day —we replay it.
And not in a healthy “let’s learn something” kind of way.
We obsess over:
• What we didn’t finish•
What we forgot•
What we said too loud or too soft•
The mess, the tension, the lack of follow‑through
That’s not reflection.
That’s rumination.
And rumination doesn’t create growth
It just buries it.
TODAY’S MISSION — THE DAILY AUDIT
Take 5 minutes tonight.
Not to perform.
Not to fix.
Just to get honest.
Ask yourself:
1️⃣ What worked today? What made things flow? What helped me stay connected?
2️⃣ What didn’t?Where did I lose presence or peace?
3️⃣ If I could redo today — not to erase it, but to grow from it — what would I shift?
Say it out loud.
Write it down.
Voice‑memo it.
Doesn’t matter.
Get it out of your head so it doesn’t stay trapped in shame.
“Today I learned that ___ works for me,___ doesn’t,and tomorrow I’ll try ___.”
Especially if you’re a dad, a partner, a business owner this matters.
Because when you model reflection without shame, You teach your family that being human isn’t a flaw.
You show them that mistakes don’t make you unworthy, unloveable.
You show them how to lead from presence, not performance.
💡 Challenge Reminder: Audit tonight.
🟢 What’s working
🔴 What’s not
🔁 What you’ll adjust
Then close the book on today — not with judgment, but with peace.
Because here’s what we’re building now:
✅ Awareness — see the truth
✅ Discipline — create stability
✅ Heart — lead with empathy
✅ Desire — live with purpose
I’m not behind.I’m not broken.I’m just ready now.And I’m building from abundance — not shame.
Let’s keep going.
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What I Have Been Learning
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