Coaching as a defence mechanism
I keep on coming to the realisation of my motivation to become a coach and it doesn't sit well with me. It's coming from a place of fear and inadequacy. If I become a coach, no one can hurt me anymore, because I'm always one step ahead of them in terms of awareness. I can help anyone who wants to change and I can protect myself from those stuck in dysfunction from negatively programming me; because I know better. Essentially, it's a defence mechanism my ego wants to use as an identity so I can feel same in society. It honestly feels icky and inauthentic. I don't want to be afraid of people but I don't want to be fake to feel safe either. I want to form an identity that's in alignment with my true self and become socialised in a healthy way, instead of getting on my high horse and feeling superior to others. Dont get me wrong, I love coaching as a means of personal transformation and getting guidance from genuine coaches, but as it stands, I honestly don't feel ready to become a coach just yet. I'm not going anywhere though, I value this community and have made some incredible friends. I'll still share my insights and support others where I feel aligned to help. But for now, the only coaching training I'll be going through, is to help me heal and understand myself better. Thank you for letting me be me ๐