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Parenting Adult Children Today
249 members • Free
4 contributions to Parenting Adult Children Today
5d •
Let's get together 💛
Dear Community, big news 🎊 This June, we're getting together in person. Save the date: June 13 & 14, 2026 — Boca Raton, Florida It's called Connect, Grow, & Thrive, LIVE! — two days dedicated to one thing: a real breakthrough in the relationship with the adult child you love. Full details (agenda, venue, pricing, registration) are coming in the next few days. But before we open it up to everyone, we wanted to share it here first — with the parents who've already been doing the work. Drop a comment below if you'd want to be there. Even a simple "interested" helps us plan the room. More soon 💛
1 like • 4d
Very interested!
2 likes • 16d
Lisa, thank you for sharing the USA article. I will check it out. That has been my fear since my son is now living in a very liberal state. It seems since he started therapy, the estrangement has gotten worse.
2 likes • 16d
@Lisa Hatchett Lisa, I am in the very same predicament. Had not talked with my son for 5-6 years; got a text from him recently to let me know he was separate and heading for divorce. I get one word responses (better than nothing). But I suggested coming for a visit ... he said he's not comfortable with that but will think about it. I am preparing a letter along with discussion points so that if/when I go to Oregon, I will be prepared for a conversation. Hoping!
Mar 29 •
Entitled boundaries
What do you think about this? In a Facebook group someone asked if they should send a birthday card to her 40-year old estranged son. Responses were mixed- for and against. One person wrote this: “No !!!..this is what i was told .....Sending cards or gifts to estranged adult children is often discouraged because it can be interpreted as a violation of their boundaries, leading to increased conflict or shutting down possibilities for future reconciliation. Such actions may be viewed as pressure, manipulation, or ignoring their request for distance, rather than loving gestures.” WTF seriously? So who is it all about now? Who - therapists - dreams this crap up to explain away and justify the behavior of an entitled child. I would send the card because I want to and because I am not playing a game. I would write only a one liner like “Thinking of you on your special day. Love, Mom”. Full stop. There you did it - for you - to not send a card when you have done so year after year also sends a message. No long note about being sorry for everything (when the victim blames herself to make peace), I want to see you and talk to you about how we can reconcile, etc blah blah. Either way, a one liner with the expectation of no response or a longer heartfelt message that will further break your heart when they don’t respond? And the game continues.
0 likes • Apr 7
In senior year in college, my daughter developed schizophrenia. I was going through a nasty divorce and she was trying to figure out her relationship with her father who was an abusive alcoholic, physically and emotionally, even suspect sexual. She had been in State hospital for nine months, then to a group home in her county. It was Thanksgiving, I was visiting a friend close to her father where my daughter was spending Thanksgiving. I wanted to see her but she informed me she didn't want any contact, no phone calls, gifts, letters, visit, etc. I was devastated. I connected with two therapists, each independent of the other and was given same advice by each: she was an adult, she clearly expressed her wishes, and was advised by each therapist that i had to honor her wishes. i thought leaving my marriage was hard. This was much more difficult but I did it .... until I couldn't and started trying to find her. Eventually we connected. She contacted me by phone and was very psychotic and said, "Mamma, please find me". That Sunday we met and have been together ever since. During those two years, I researched and learned about mental health and identified programs in Philadelphia so that I was prepared if and when she came back to me. She entered that program until the County refused to support the program financially. I had a decision to make .... let her go to a shelter or have her move in with me. We have now been together for 12 years! Now the problem is my son who believes he was not wanted as he was not planned. I have been estranged from him entirely for the past five years.
0 likes • Apr 7
P.S. ... all three of us were subject to the abuse from their father.
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