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Parenting Adult Children Today

254 members • Free

17 contributions to Parenting Adult Children Today
On the road with ears!
Warning…This is a long one! I am not offended if you don’t read all. My middle daughter and I are in Orlando. I am so grateful for the modules 1-3 and Catherine lecture Tuesday May 5th! Day 1 “I put my ears on”. My daughter stressed with her work that she literally arrived at our long planned Disney restbit “unhinged” and disrespectful to the workers at the airport when she picked me up. She had an arrogant, I deserve everything attitude. We got into the car and she continued ranting. I just paused until the rant was over. Then I just parroted back “It sounds like to me your trip here was very stressful and you didn’t stop a long way and make sure that you had meals or even water am I right?” she agreed. Then I said how about we solve that problem first what are you hungry for? Day 2 As we we’re entering Universal Epoch Studios, She became unhinged again. This time the rant went in for longer and when it was over I paused again. This time I was box breathing because of the rant was personal. ( ignoring the personal insults of my adopted 33-year-old) What came out was, “ so what I hear you saying is that your job is so stressful that you feel like you have no place of peace?” she said yes, then I responded with “ Have you considered what options you’d like to take with that?” she calmed down and I did my best to give her space to think. She spun up two more times in the park. And I used the same tactic. I did eventually fail. And at the end of the evening, when she dressed me down for in the line to the bathroom “Didn’t you just go to the bathroom 15 minutes ago?” So I lost my resolve at 10pm and said “there’s no need to embarrass me in front of this line of people.” And I walked to find another restroom. And instead of following along behind. She left the park, while I was in the restroom. Without any text message or telling me where she went. It was closing time and she abandoned me. With no way to get to the hotel and not even an address for it. She finally answered the text message and told me she went to the car. I had to ask where the car was and with no signs in the parking she to get walk back to find me.
On the road with ears!
1 like • 4d
My goodness, Lisa. You are doing such a good job in a very, very difficult situation. You have amazing courage and stamina.
I just struck gold
I am so proud of myself. I have been stewing over how I'm actually going to talk with my daughter and how I'm going to be loving and welcoming with her so that we have a good conversation. (I was thinking I'd need some specific phrases etc. And today she called me on the phone! I have also been scouring the modules looking for help. And I found it in Nurture 6.1= FIXING FOCUSES ON THE PROBLEMS; ENCOURAGEMENT FOCUSES ON STRENGTHS! When I read that, I KNEW that I knew how to do that even with her!. What a breakthrough for me! So, my daughter was telling me that her husband does the laundry for them. "What a man!" I told her that he doesn't have to be macho. She told me more things and in response, I came up with a positive comment about every single thing she brought up. And we both we laughing and talking about the past and the future. She had told me early on in the conversation that she had only about 2 minutes to talk with me. But then SHE kept talking for the next 40 minutes. What a find the above phrase is. If this is the only thing I remember forever about this class, it will be well worth it! I've just struck gold!!! Thank you Catherine!
1 like • 4d
Yay for you Paula. This is such a gift. Happy for you
A few weeks' worth of breakthroughs
4/23/2026 Hello. My husband and I have been in this course since early March. This is bound to be long because I’ve been planning to write this post for quite some time, and now I have more to report. OK—here goes, and, believe me, this is mighty uncomfortable. I have had four or five major breakthroughs in the past few weeks. Catherine’s questions bring me back to years—decades--of therapy, group counseling, neurolinguistic work, positive psychology training, intuition training, Reiki healing, and everything else I’ve done. I have examined past trauma, starting in childhood, and including generational trauma, as well as communication and behavior patterns I’ve developed throughout the years (including early marriage and divorce—this is my 2nd marriage), and relationships with both healthy and unhealthy people. What I should do is go back and review notes and journals. I’m remembering snippets from past years when my oldest daughter said, “The closer you want to be, the farther away we’ll go” (or something to that effect), “You are too clingy and needy,” “you don’t respect boundaries,” “I’m very private and you tell people my business.” There is more: “When I was 11, you did this/you said that. . . .” I rarely understood any of that. Of course, I got defensive and then “took it personally,” and that’s what she got stuck on: “You take everything personally.” (And how else would I take it?) I’d even say, “OK, I was a bad mother. So sorry.” (And then cry.) (This came from one daughter—not the other—our oldest, who is now 41.) I just thought it was an odd reaction to my expressing interest in her life and wanting to share. I could never hear this as anything but her pushing me away and criticizing. I felt she was mean and cruel. She has never apologized to me once in her life. (Catherine enlightened me by saying that people who are “perfectionists” cannot apologize. I understand that now, and she IS a perfectionist. Also, I only now understand parts of her life in the past 6-8 years, living with an alcoholic, dysfunctional husband and father of her son/our grandson; he could not hold a job, she brought in the money by working full-time AND operating her own business, driving long distances for work, working nonstop in a very demanding job (with mentally ill criminals), not sleeping. Our grandson would call us at midnight, sobbing and scared. . . . I see now that she was in survival mode. We didn’t even know about the alcoholism—she didn’t tell us—we just knew he was impossible and miserable to us—until shortly before he died last year.
0 likes • 12d
@Wendy Andberg. I’m so happy for you. I connect with so many parts of your shareing. You give me. Hope. The Brown book arrived at my house today. I’ll be readying, too.
Tomorrow's Class Session with Tracey (Thursday 4/23)
Good evening everyone! I wanted to let the community know that tomorrow morning's class will be meeting 30 minutes earlier than usual. Please be ready for class at 11:00 AM ET (10:00 AM CT, and 8:00 AM PT). Please let me know if you all have any questions or concerns. As always, the classes will be recorded and you can find them in the Classroom section under Class Recordings! So sorry for the late notice!
1 like • 18d
@Wendy Andberg You’re amazing. Wish we could go for a coffee!
0 likes • 17d
@Wendy Andberg far away unfortunately. I live in Texas panhandle, Lubbock of Buddy Holly fame.
Time for class on April 28?
I need to know the time for the morning class on April 28. Please include if it is Eastern time you are posting so I can translate to my time zone. Also when the times are announced as changed does the change automatically go onto our calendar? Thank you
0 likes • 17d
THANK YOU.
1-10 of 17
Judy Shema
3
17points to level up
@judy-shema-7480
Retired. Mother of three adult daughters, 2 live one block from me. I am a Master Gardener, usher at theatre and active in my Episcopal Church.

Active 6h ago
Joined Apr 2, 2026
Lubbock, TX
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