I'm Lindsay and I was officially diagnosed with ADHD in March of 2025 at the age of 42 - I've believed for the last 15-20 years that I had ADHD but I didn't bother getting diagnosed because I felt like I was doing okay and didn't want to go on meds. However, during COVID when I was forced to work from home instead of in an office around other people (natural body doubling that I need but didn't know I needed before I knew what body doubling was). I intended to go get a diagnosis and try medication but due to my ADHD procrastination tendencies, it was years before I actually found where to go and went to do it. Over the last few years it's felt like it's been getting worse and I've been struggling more and more with it. Some of that is the continued work from home scenarios I've been in, but I recently learned that ADHD symptoms can often get worse for women around their 30s/40s due to changing hormones - learning that made me feel better, feel like its not my fault, it's my body and mind doing it to me. I'm really hoping that I can find a way to better live with this and get back to being the productive and happy person that I used to be.

Yes, I remember those Barbie commercials. LOL I’ve realized my relationship with clutter is not me wanting to be messy, but more about visibility. If I put something completely away, there’s a really good chance it has entered another dimension. If I leave everything out in front so I remember it exists, the visual clutter eventually overwhelms me. So apparently I need everything simultaneously visible and invisible. Very reasonable brain. 😂 Has anyone found storage systems that solve that contradiction?

People Pleaser (and Invisible one) not knowing who I really am or what I want, externalizing first on what others think or expect so I can feel safe...if you're okay, I'm okay.

The mask I've been wearing most is the Invisible one. I also wear the perfectionist, the caregiver and sometimes the people pleaser. It's starting to make sense - the half finished drawing on my easel, the unsent emails simply asking for what's rightfully owed. The over achiever in me fails to finish the drawing on the easel because of perfectionism. Is this linked back to childhood when told I'd never be able to make a living as an artist? Not because I'm not good enough, but because my parents didn't see it as a "respectable" career. Most likely. The people pleaser always colours within the lines - don't make waves, staying invisible keeps me safe. The email reminding the graphic design client (ie the respectable career) that the invoice has not been payed - I'm asking for money for my creative endeavours. NOT SAFE! How exhausting it's been hiding all the time for my own protection. What I loved as a kid (before the masks): drawing, exploring the bushland, creating with my hands, biking or rollerskating wherever our hearts led us. Friction Audit complete, this are the exact steps i have to take: 1. open email client 2. add clients email address 3. quick email reminding payment is overdue 4. send the damn email. The half finished drawing if anyone is interested:

Hello! I’ve made it through day two! I’m trying to play catch up and I’m only a day behind here! But it’s ok. My masks have gone from people pleaser to rebel to INVISIBLE ONE.👻 Lately I’ve been hiding out at home, from the world. Lonely and bored.🪦 Feeling soooo stuck and low confidence. I’ve been trying to break free. Today I found gloves so that when I go through my laundry I don’t have to touch anything since I’m a mini germaphobe hahaha. 🧤🫧I don’t like the gross chores. Can’t wait to have a husband for that stuff lol! But I gotta be strong 💪🏼