💌 The 5 Stages of Cold Email Enlightenment (and Existential Crisis)
If you’re new to cold emailing, buckle up — it’s not a funnel, it’s a five-stage emotional rollercoaster 🎢 🥶 Stage 1: The Cold Chaos Phase You have no clue what you’re doing. You’re watching YouTube tutorials on DNS, SPF, DKIM, and wondering if you accidentally enrolled in NASA’s onboarding program. Setting up domains, mailboxes, deliverability… Apollo, instantly.ai, Google Sheets — all sound like a Marvel multiverse. But hey, you’re trying. Respect. 🤞 Stage 2: The Fingers-Crossed Era The setup is live. You hit Send Campaign and whisper a prayer to the email gods. One person replies “Interested.” You feel like you just closed a $10M deal. Two days later, you realize “interested” doesn’t mean “paid.” Welcome to capitalism. 💀 Stage 3: The Rejection Gym “Not interested.” “Who gave you my email?” “F**k off.” At this stage, you stop crying. You start laughing. You finally understand it takes 100 no’s to get 1 yes, and you start building rejection biceps. 💪 🧠 Stage 4: The Detective Mode Now you’re smart. You can look at a campaign and instantly know — “Oh, deliverability dropped because I used that cursed word ‘guarantee.’” “Oh, this list is trash; I need to clean my leads.” You’ve become half marketer, half Sherlock Holmes. 🚀 Stage 5: The Cold Email Zen Master You’re sending 1,000 emails/day without breaking a sweat. Your copy works. Your CRM syncs. Leads come in daily, you follow up instantly, and money starts flowing. You’ve built a system — and it works even while you sleep. Which stage are you in right now? Be honest… still decoding SPF records or flexing in the rejection gym? 😎 @Grant Charge @Max Khalus @William Marksén , agree ?