I want to scream but the words don't come out right... I want to be free from all of the ptsd but cant look for the right help I remember when my ex marquis had abused me that day was awful the pain I endured in it the way he stole stuff from me and the way he would scream and get in my face because I kicked him out of my apartment because he was having snarty marks about me and my life... I want to scream I want to cry because why did I deserve to be beaten by all of my exes why would they treat me so fucking bad it don't make sense.. I've been trying to put it together piece by piece... how a nice girl like me would let herself through every man just for that man to abuse and beat and kick her It don't make no sense it don't add up now I found me someone and I love him very much but I feel really insecure about what happened in the pasts...