@Sadia Riaz Ameen for us all 💕 x

@Layan B Ameen to your kind dua 🤲 I'm excited for you too :) x

How awful! As soon as I read he made you pay for the meal, I was shaking my head in dismay. That is not how a proper man should behave, let alone the rest of his behaviour. But thankfully he told you everything upfront, - albeit a bit strange, who comes up with a list on the first meeting?! But anyway, that can only come from Allah showing that person's true colours as a flashing red. I'm always weary of giving out my number- what I would suggest is if you like someone, take their details then read Istikhara, and also involve a family member or someone you can meet him with if you choose to, and then after the tester questions (from MM's you tube videos), then perhaps think about giving him your number?...Sorry I'm probably not much help- it's just what I would do. I've been shutting myself out of the whole process for years, so just now thinking about getting back out there and that's what I'd do...May Allah weed out all the useless ones from our paths (and guide them separately, after all they really should get their act together before they meet other unsuspecting sisters). May Allah bring us to the one He made especially for us with ease and comfort and it be a wonderful experience we can each share with each other in this group one day :) x

@Medinah Bey Amazing! Yes definately Allah (swt) helping guide your way. Yes that's a good idea to continue to read it, it's an amazing resource we've been gifted. Also don't share your number until you feel comfortable doing so. They can write theirs down on a piece of paper and you can choose what you want to do with it later, maybe contact them from a landline or a family member's phone. If they think it's strange and make a fuss that would be my first clue that they don't respect your (perfectly reasonable) boundaries. May Allah guide and light your way with clarity and ease x

For any lovely sisters who are feeling a teeny bit disappointed, please know that each of us have a specific time lovingly planned by Allah (swt). May we each take from this course what is best and grow and progress to reach the wonderful goals Allah has in store for us xx

I'm sharing a few screenshots from today, the first is the example MM talked through on the response to assessing emotional intelligence, and the others are a few sample questions to determine compatibilty (there were others but the scroll down was too fast to see those). But I found these a useful starting point so wanted to share with you all (MM I hope that's ok and you don't mind :)

@Aamina M It's so incredibly brave of you to share this with us. That bravery was evident when you stood up to your elder sibling, (something your parents ought to have done- but you took that mantle yourself). I hope your sibling starts to realise how wrong their behaviour was, before they have their own family so as to nip this in the bud and not carry it to another generation. But the matter at hand is how well you have dealt with this. Your learning about behaviour and developing a rich inner world, are gifts and a means to heal and help others in their journey. You are so right, patience is often mistaken for acceptance, it's the sad nature of people sometimes, unless we stand up and educate and enlighten them and just put that boundary of what is not acceptable, they don't seem to understand otherwise. The sad thing is, muslims should know all this, but there is a great need to remind people of what our deen is all about and to do away with corrupt cultural norms/jahiliya, which Islam came to free us from. The good news is, we can put a stop to that in our own lives and take that forward InshAllah. My late grandmother used to say, we make our own culture, and I used to think that sounds like too much work, but actually it's worth it. It'll be like our sadaqa jariya if we put in place a fair, islamic environment, adopting the sunnah in our day to day, refining the way we deal with poeple (which is something in our control). That will show others a different peaceful alternative on how to live. You have a raft of incredible gifts (MashAllah) which the world can only benefit from. I can understand you having difficulty trusting people, I too was betrayed by a friend, I never saw it coming, she was in every way kind and thoughtful- or so I thought. Anyway, we live and learn. I think it's wise not to give too much of yourself before you know someone well, and read Istikhara, that's what I'll do, if and when I meet a potential. Allah is with us every step of the journey. He has given you an inner strength which will amaze people to learn, given your petite frame. That to me, sounds like your superpower :) May you go from strength to strength, with Allah as your protective friend, illuminating your way. I'm sorry I wrote so much, I didn't mean to, I hope I haven't said anything to offend you. I wish you every goodness imaginable x

@Aamina M That's such a beautiful dua, JazakAllah khair. Ameen for us all 🤲 xx

@Aisha Hemeida I can relate to all you've said. But you have also mentioned the perfect solution, the Prophetic example. After all, his sunnah (saw) is for all time, which means there have to be men out there that are following that (correctly!), InshAllah Allah will find us those. However unlikely it may seem at first in our limited view, Allah sees it all and knows the perfect time for each of us. For years I didn't bother with the search cosily comforted with the belief that it's better to be alone than unhappy. But when an email to join this group popped up in my inbox, I took it as a sign to perhaps learn more about a subject I'd shied away from for so long, and here I am :) InshAllah khair for us all x

@Layan B Ameen, likewise dear Layan. I agree, all the glitter and dazzle I grew up thinking and that following those ideals was giving me 'my rights' was all a facade, and it's Islam which is the most comprehensive base we need in our lives and when practiced correctly it gives you a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment that you don't need to look elsewhere. You're right it's not about perfection but the person who's right for us and vice verse. That's insightful about the Rahma part, jzk for sharing. Lol 'cultural/societal 'junk'' couldn't agree more! :) x