Affirmations are intentional statements we use to help shape our focus, identity, and internal dialogue. They're about reinforcing the mindset we actually want to live from. The most effective affirmations are believable enough to accept, repeated consistently (and internalized over time), emotionally /value connected AND backed by action. :) These were some of the ones I've been leaning on this week: -"I owe it to myself to see how capable I truly am and to live and expand upon my potential" -"I keep promises to myself" -"I will not sleepwalk through a life others would fight for" -"I reject comfort that weakens me and I accept discomfort that strengthens me" -"I don't wait to lose things to appreciate them". Would love to hear some of yours! :) Do you use affirmations or reminders?

I read a few of the posts that @Thomas Rua Jr. has in this community and that in addition to a few conversations that I've had recently got me thinking about self honesty and how often we may find ourselves in traps related to the discomfort of facing ourselves. Even when we think we're honest, at times there are still layers keeping us from truly seeing ourselves. When we don't tell ourselves the truth about what's actually happening (with ourselves, with a situation), we can end up working incredibly hard and putting a lot of time and energy in a direction that's not really serving us and potentially even harming us. Self-honesty isn't about trying harder to 'be honest" because 'most' people already think that they are. The gap is in what we're willing to see and what we're protecting. It requires us to practice /engage in different ways of going about our thinking. Below are some ways to try to go about it!! 1.𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 We usually have a narrative /explanation about why things are the way they are--the story that we tell ourselves to explain our habits, our patterns and the results. Something that we can do is ask ourselves "What if this story is incomplete? What if this story is convenient? What if this story is keeping me stuck?" Fill in the blank, "The story that I'm telling myself about this is____" 2. 𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 We are meaning making people. We end up taking facts and adding meaning to situations. It can ease the bluntness of certain situations. Sometimes the interpretation is helpful, other times it ends up just justifying behaviors that we'd benefit from changing. Blurring facts with meaning can sometimes be problematic. Similar to above "The story that I'm telling myself about this is ____" 3. 𝐎𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫-𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 This is NOT about self blame. Self blame and responsibility and empowerment/agency are different things. Not everything is our fault and just because things happen doesn't mean that we are the problem. This is more about asking "What kind of agency do I have in this situation, even if other variables exist?" It's about taking ourselves from a victim position and putting ourselves in a position of appropriate power. There are things that are outside of our control but there are also things where we have agency.

Saw this at a place I was visiting today and thought I'd pass it on !! When trying something new, it's probably going to feel uncomfortable! Those are new neural connections being created so there is an actual physical discomfort that's happening. That's normal! Let's embrace the process :-) get aligned and then embrace the discomfort that comes along with the change!

Saw this quote in another community and it was such a good reminder as it applies to soooooo many areas of life. :) "I"ll start when I'm ready" sounds responsible. Thoughtful. Maybe even wise. But often times it's more likely to be self-protection which then leads to procrastination and timidity in action. This 'waiting' for the perfect moment can actually erode self trust over time if we don't take action. And that's a disappointing feeling. We rarely feel 100% ready (but that doesn't mean that we're not ready)..Feelings, while valid, are not facts...They inform, but they don't need to drive. Motivation research shows us that action is often the thing that creates clarity and confidence (not the other way around). Growth almost always requires movement (rather than perfect preparation). Something to consider: There’s also a 𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 at play: the belief that future-you will be braver, more disciplined, or more prepared than present-you. BUT!!!! Avoidance reinforces anxiety which makes us LESS likely to engage in the behavior. This is that erosion of self trust I mentioned earlier! (Check out @Sofia Martinez 's post that very much relates to this erosion of self trust: the-agreement-you-keep-breaking-with-yourself) Sometimes “I’m not ready” is valid, but I think that we need to be honest with ourselves and identify if /when that's actually the case. (Check out @Kate Galli 's post that is related--points out to some things that may get in the way of us taking steps towards goals!!: 6-aversion-factors-that-quietly-kill-your-progress) (The video is related to how to make stress your friend. Figured it would be helpful to put us in better positions for taking on positive risks! :) )

Okay, I'm a big "offender" of this. I double text (and triple and quadruple text) and I can get elaborate on details making some texts sound like little novels...And now, voice memos? A whole new ball game....yikes! But also...ooooh! :) Although never my intention, I'm sure there have been a few casualties along the way as a result of me doing this. (Feel free to send me a message and lmk! ha! ) But, I've been thinking about how much meaning we assign to different texting habits. 𝗗𝗼𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 (sending another message before the person replies) often gets labeled as “desperate” or “too much.” Perhaps it can even fall under the category of anxious or insecure. But honestly? Sometimes it just means someone is engaged, excited, or had another thought (or 10, ha). Context matters. I think that we internally 'know' where the energy is coming from. 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁𝘀 get a similar reputation. Some people see them as overwhelming; others see them as thoughtful and emotionally available. A long text can mean someone wants to be clear, transparent, and thorough. It can also mean they process externally. And it can also mean that they've been burnt in the past and want to be understood. Again, context matters and I think that we can recognize internally where this is coming from too. In my experience, the “best” type of communication isn’t about message length or timing rules. It’s more about clarity over mind games, consistency over intensity, directness over guessing and mutual effort over one-sided pursuit. I think that it's really important to communicate our 'go to' style so that we don't have to guess what it all means. I also think it's helpful to communicate/assess how things may land when we receive a text. Additionally, I think it's really really important to assess our whys behind what/how we're communicating and also how we're taking things in from the other person. (Why am I sending a novel right now--would it suffice to send something shorter? Is the other person more likely to be receptive if I send something shorter and if I don't double text? AND ALSO Why do I feel overwhelmed when I get a long paragraph or why do I feel anxious if a person doesn't answer for a long time or answers with a very short response? What's going on internally? Communication happens between two or more people. 𝗪𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 AND 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀.