@Sadia Riaz Oh this is so beautiful 🥰 I love your mindset. May Allah make it more easy for you 🙃

@Sadia Riaz 🤗 Ameen, it is a journey and you will figure it out.

Oh wow, jazak allah khairan 🥰

I see it as accepting each other with the good and the bad. I don't believe there is any family that is perfect or not complicated, so for me it is to respect the challenges that comes with family and support eachother in whichever way we can. I think the main thing for me regarding family is not using it against each other, your mother, your sister, your uncle etc etc. Family ties can be a vulnerability so I would say not exploit it.

@Ayesha Zafar First of all, I pray Allah gives you a spouse that never becomes a test for you, one that will be opposite to everything you fear regarding marriage. I come from the same culture, so when I say I understand, I mean it. Until recently I did had the similar opinion but I learned that the only thing it was doing was limiting me, enforcing patterns that shouldn'tbe applied enmass, because that fear, that hesitation became a wall, a checkbox that was meant to fail no matter what or how good someone was. I hope this helps you, look at it from a different perspective, knowing this, understanding this helps you identify these traits and you can use them, inquire about them in your marriage search. While I don't agree with your mother's proverb but I respect that her opinion is shaped by her experiences and no one has the right to say they are wrong. But what I would suggest you is not to develop that mindset that your mother's experience, or what you see is going to be yours. You can respect where you mother is coming from but still chose differently. Also while I have seen similar experiences, I chose to focus on those that are positive, where I see love, care within the same culture. Cause yes some of it is cultural but a lot of it is also individual, upbringing, and most importantly refusal to change as an individual. I mean this saying is more about wealth that, while you can't chose if you are born poor but it is on you if you die poor. The logic applies here, it was never in our hand which culture we were born in but we can still chose which parts of it is ours and what we won't let define us. Another thing is I believe if someone follows Islam in it's true essence, not the cultural islam we grew up with things like these will never be a problem. So I pray Allah bless you with someone that understand and strive for correcting his deen and one who understand the duties, haaya of marriage before the rights ❤️❤️

Walaikum as salam. Is there a way to watch it later? I will be in office at that time 🥹🥹

@Habibatul Aulia that's quite unfortunate. Hopefully another time then 🙃

Oh this is a very good question but so so nuanced. My wali exists but he is not involved from the sense he is not looking or asking initial questions. My mother and sister, I would say are more involved. They know about every interaction, which in honestly is not much given the quality of men on the app 😅 But I think the biggest difference is how I want to approach it. They have only known the desi rishta process, family meets, family decides, not much potential spouses interactions until everything is settled. The main criterion had always been that the family is respectful, guy looks decent, earns good. For me, that has never been enough, I have questions, I want alignment in both deen and dunya. This is not to say I fault them in anyway, this is what they have known, what they grew up with and what make sense to them. And for me understanding and acknowledging this is love and respect for them. But this does creates a disadvantage for me that a lot of things I need to do on my own. And sometimes even before asking the guy or his family I have to communicate to my family why what I want/need is important for me.