I shouldn’t admit this but 🙈
I thought I would never be a mother. I remember standing in my old law firm’s hallway late at night… exhausted… hungry… trying to impress the partners… and walking past a woman partner’s cracked door. She was in her office crying while her kids cursed her out on speakerphone. Not once. Not twice. I had seen this happen enough times that I silently promised myself: “Oh no… I’m not doing that. I’m not having kids. I’m giving my ALL to my career. My husband. My ambition. That’s it.” And y’all… I meant it. I couldn’t see how motherhood fit into the life I was building. I didn’t think I had room for it. I didn’t think I had capacity for it. And I definitely didn’t want my future kids mad because I couldn’t be around. Fast forward. May 5, 2020. I had my daughter, Christelle (Christ+Elle) Kirkwood. 10 lbs. 9 oz. of pure light, fire, joy, and God’s reminder that He writes better stories than I do. And now, in just a few weeks, I’m taking 30 days off to travel the WORLD with my family — Dubai, Thailand, Bangkok, the Philippines, Nigeria, Ghana… and more. Not to work. Not to hustle. Not to keep up. To rest. To hear from God. To be with my family. To live the life I built to the fullest. Because I didn’t build a cage. I built a business. And that business gave me freedom the moment I stopped trying to do it the “corporate way.” When I think about that younger version of me… that girl in the hallway… that girl who thought motherhood would smother her ambition… I just want to hug her. She had NO IDEA how much possibility she carried. She had NO IDEA that ambition and motherhood could coexist. She had NO IDEA that building big things models freedom for your children — it doesn’t take it from them. My dad was an entrepreneur. And the greatest gift he gave me wasn’t money. It was proximity to purpose. Watching him work. Watching him dream. Watching him build. And watching him never miss a big moment of my life in the process. He never made me a scapegoat for his vision.