I rededicated my life to Christ about a year and a half ago now. It’s been a beautiful journey. I’ve done and accomplished things I never thought I could. I always loved singing but wasn’t bold enough to sing in front of people. I felt conviction one day when I realized God restored my voice after being delivered from smoking cigarettes. I knew I had to share this praise. I would always sing praises in the car on the morning ride to school with Journie and one day I recorded it. I felt the Spirit urging me to post it but I hesitated. Now mind you, it’s early, my voice is raspy and I’m looking like I just woke up but I was obedient and posted it with a hashtag of #Praisehimwithmeyall! I began getting so much positive feedback in spite of me going through the motions about my insecurities. God showed me that people were less concerned with what I looked or sounded like but more so appreciated a genuine praise! He took the nerves and feelings of things needing to be perfect and replaced it with light and joy Glory be to God!

PTL ladies I feel like I missed so much I have been present in something but blank in my brain I took a couple of falls and yes one of my fear triggers. Before it happened in my mind I would see my falls and each time I either got hurt real bad or died. I was shaking it off reburking it and praying. So my knee pop fell hard on the floor and hard time to get up, 2nd time was bad it time hurt a part of me that was already in pain. Found myself praying and crying then hearing or thinking see sons not here, church family busy with their family or problems you alone just like them what you going to do now. A slap in the face then I was giving an assignment where I felt unworthy and asked why. But each day I have been reading or praying exercising I'm on a slow hill but with the shaking pressing and push I'm going to work on my trust and faith in God because this storm cloud has to move.

These past few weeks have been rough to say the least. After navigating a family loss, teaching at our Churches Co-Op, facilitating our recent event, leading W.O.O.T. Group, and juggling health and home, I found myself drained spiritually and naturally. For a fleeting moment, my soul whispered 'quit.' I knew at that moment I had to do something… Me being the “strong friend”, I’m usually checking on folks and I struggled to ask for help. So I took a step back, rended my heart and reconnected to the Source of my strength, Jesus! I realized I was trying to do things in my own power. I took a break and allowed myself to breathe, rest, and reflect. A powerful word at church resonated deeply - “Don’t grow weary in your well doing.” It was a reminder that my strength lies not in self-sufficiency, but in His ever-present help. I began to reflect on Gods promises… He won’t put more on me than I can bear! His yoke is easy and his burden is light! His Grace is sufficient! His Strength is made perfect in my weakness! The Joy of the Lord is my Strength! Jesus is my firm foundation. When everything around me feels like chaos, He is my calm in the storm. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Last week I was sick and it really knocked me off my feet. I missed the week of work, I didnt do nay homework. I just played around. It wasn't the typical sickness in my body. My whol body acked but a sickness in my mind. I didn't cast down negative thoughts and I allowed them to take root and bear fruit. I allowed the attack sit on me heavy. I was having a hard time getting out of it alone. I reached out to my sister in Christ for prayer. She paryed for me, I kept praying for myself, my mother prayed for me and I was free within 24hrs. I was FREE... my joy returned, my Hope Returned! God did it!! 🙌 Anytime you feel like you let the enemy in. Just pray. Prayer always wins!

For those that don't know, this is my birthday month! January 20th to be exact! I'll be 43 years old. Wow how time flies. I was recently looking through my photos and as I sifted through the years, I was reminded of how good God truly is. I ran across photos of my Husband and I when we first met when I was 19 and then ones of me when we separated. Video's of all my children at different stages of their lives including the Facetime screenshots because they moved far away. I was reminded of a time when I got baptized along with pics where I was ok with drinking and smoking and dressing and dancing provocatively. Then I saw pictures of when I was suffering with a diagnosis, extremely ill and thin. I then saw pictures of the day my Son Jayden's died in my arms... I'm not here saying the battles I've faced weren't hard and didn't leave scars... they definitely did. I'm not implying that those same tests and trials don't have a part in who I am becoming, they do. My testimony is about how in spite of it all, God still found a way to use those same horrible moments and bad choices for my good. He allowed it to build my character, grow my patience and reveal Himself in me. He showed me that no weapon that was formed prospered, that He won't put more on me than I can bare and that He will finish what He started. It's also to show us that He is always in control, no matter what it looks like. My Husband and I did separate for a time but God quickened the dry bones of our marriage and restored it. Yes its difficult to see your kids leave the nest but its worth it to witness the seeds you sowed in them sprout as they rear their own children. I'm grateful that although I backslid, God was their with open arms as His prodigal daughter ran back into them. The Dr.'s gave me a bad report and a death sentence, The Great Physician said different and delivered and healed me! I may have lost my Son, but I have irreplaceable memories of his contagious smile to share with the daughter I didn't think I'd be able to have.