14d • General discussion
My 1st first shared parenting Christmas?
Happy New Year, Community.
I’m landing the fatherhood plane hot with my first entry of ’26.
I stayed quiet over the holidays — not because I had nothing to say - my mind was with the fathers navigating shared parenting for the first time.
If that’s you, this post is for you.
Within the last 24 hours here in Columbus, Ohio, OH -- --, here the temperature dropped from the mid-50s to the low 20s with 40 + mph winds. I stayed inside and put on one last Christmas movie before calling it a season — "Joint Custody" on Prime.
I thought I knew where it was going.I didn’t. Early in the film, this line hit me:
“No family follows the same path. Every member of every family has their own unique adventure… Every Christmas memory has a story.”
That’s the truth most men don’t get permission to say out loud.
Our experience as fathers is subjective — and when we don’t talk about it, we suffer in silence. Guys hear the Kris voice in your head, "no matter suffering in silence."
So I’ll go first.
My First JCC (Joint Custody Christmas)
Even now, as I write this, I can feel the energy still living in my body. If I were using my feelings wheel, sadness is at the center of this energy.
My first JCC was spent in a Red Roof Inn with my two little guys. - Two beds.Chicken wings. Pizza. and guilth Disney Dad mode fully activated.
When my boys fell asleep, I kept running back and forth to my car unloading gifts. I’d stop, pause, and just watch them sleep. In the middle of chaos, that moment always brought me peace.
Early the next morning, they opened their gifts — electric football was the hit that year.
Here’s the lesson I didn’t understand yet as a JCC newbie.
When emotions are overwhelming, men make short-term decisions with long-term consequences.
I didn’t need a hotel room.I needed support. The shame I felt caused me to stay stuck in rugged individualism — suffering quietly, feeling embarrasssed, thinking it's best to go at this alone.
In hindsight, If I had reached out, leaned into the wisdom of the guys around me who done the JCC before - would have reminded me of the truth:
My boys didn’t care where we were.They just wanted to be safe with their dad on Christmas Eve.
Happy New Year, Community.
Relationships are going to be different for you in 26.'
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My 1st first shared parenting Christmas?
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