7d (edited) • General discussion
A Case Study "Why Diddy, Diddy's?"
Hey Community,
*Warning, I made this post prior to watching episode 3 & 4 of the Reckoning. Episodes 3 & 4 contains extremely strong sexual content, sexual violence and discussion of physical assault and is not necessary to complete the exercise in this post.
I wanted to tap in before the weekend - I’m excited as this post is officially kicking off our very first deep-dive Case Study together and understanding principle 1 of my coaching program, "all behavior has a purpose"
Here is a reminder. Two individuals become one couple. On this side requires selfishness, in a sense to dive-in, ask question, and ask for what else you need. There is too much on the line to stand on the side lines.
My hopes and dreams is to help you along this journey. Like the Grinch, he did not know what he needed. A good coach helps the members of his team figure out what you need to identify and tackle to defeat the enemy, what I call the "troubled dance of connection" in your intimate relationship. That is the sole purpose of this community.
As your coach, I will be exposing this community to strategies I have successfully used a dozens of times to help my guys take back and reclaim how they wanted to show up in their relationship.
Diddy is The Canvas
Now, let’s get real for a second. I know when you saw Diddy's name you probably felt that uncomfortable energy in your body. Please stick with me, I am going somewhere. Here is the thing, yes we are using Diddy—however, if you are going to benefit from this Case Study, I need you to put your personal feelings aside or you are going to miss the perspective.
Caveat: When discussing the behaviors tied to the troubled dance or cycle of some of these men, I am in no way excusing, justifying, or attempting to explain away any behavior; it’s about learning attempting to unpack the origin of their troubled dance or cycle.
As I take you into this documentary “The Reckoning” episodes1 & 2. (rated MA—contains strong sexual assault, violence, explicit language, so take care if these themes are triggering), we’re simply observing and adding language to how a public figure’s patterns can teach you about the dynamics of his“troubled dance," its impact on intimate partners, meaningful others and criminal behavior.
In other words: Diddy is just the canvas. We’re here to see how "cycles of disconnections" play out and how they might reflect on deeper childhood issues such attachment patterns, adverse childhood experiences and survival or coping strategies learned in childhood.
Toxic Relationship Positivity coaches don't account for men who still rely on their old survival strategies today, that no longer serve them during intense fellowship in the present that sets up the red code alert.
Before I left private practice to coach, one of the modalities I was trained in was Emotional Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). Sue Johnson, the creator of EFT said, “in her work on Emotionally Focused Therapy: we’re looking at the dance, not just the dancer.”
The Purpose Behind the Post
Remember, guys, this community is about your growth. The goal is to help you identify your own troubled cycles that push your intimate partner away and understand the roots or core issue—The focus is on “if I can help you name it, we can tame it” and move towards healing.
That’s my hopes and dreams of what success looks like for you.
This is not about toxic relationship positivity (TRP), which sets you up to fail with unrealistic expectations.
Instead, we’re learning real, evidence-based strategies so you can reclaim how you show up.
I need your feedback to help demonstrate this community is legitimate. With your help, let’s drive this community up to #1 in men’s relationships by sharing results.
Let’s Dive In—And Keep It Respectful
So here’s the deal: tap in and watch how Diddy’s patterns unfold. Again, it can be triggering and it contains foul language and sexual assault language. It is rated MA
Notice:
Describe Puff’s negative cycle, and add anything that comes up for you in your personal cycle that might help someone else.
What stands out for you regarding the triggers of his cycle of disconnection.
If he were your friend, how would you help him see it?
What do you notice about the conversations and feedback from the people closet to him days before is arrest.
If you want to go deeper and work with me one-on-one, just DM me the word “GRINCH” and I will follow-up with you regarding the next steps.
Let’s get this conversation started. We’re all in this together to break that troubled dance so you can take back and reclaim how you are going to show up for yourself, to lead your family and your community.
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A Case Study "Why Diddy, Diddy's?"
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I help guys stop their "troubled dance of disconnection" in their intimate relationship through the eyes of the Grinch's behavior.
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