Reminder.... long read · Wellness in Grief

Reminder.... long read

A reminder for you today. 🤍 I get alot of clients who say they are afraid or nervous to keep going or start because of the fear of feeling those big feelings.

If you are living with constant anxiety, feeling stuck, or cycling through fight or flight, your body is not broken. It is doing exactly what it learned to do to keep you safe. But safety was never meant to be a permanent state of high alert.

That is why the somatic work matters. The somatic experiences, the movements, the daily workshops and videos -- they are not just exercises. They are building something. They are building your capacity to finally give yourself permission to feel what you have never allowed yourself to feel.

And that is the most important part of your healing journey.

The more you continue doing the somatic work, the more you sit with the anxiety instead of running from it, the more you work through the fear and the worry, the more you stop letting fear be in the driver's seat -- the more you will slowly learn to just sit down. Or lay down. Without that adrenaline and cortisol screaming at you that you need to be doing something, staying busy, staying moving, staying numb.

Here is what I also need you to hear: feeling safety again is not about it always being calm. It is about allowing yourself to move through the messy, ugly feelings and honoring them. Giving them the space they deserve to finally be felt.

And with that comes the part a lot of programs won't tell you about.

They make it sound easy to sit with painful emotions. And it is not. Because when you open that door, what comes through is not just a quiet release. It is grief. The grief of friendships lost. Of relationships that broke you. Of people who are no longer here. It is fear -- of the anxiety itself, of being the one who doesn't fit, of being misunderstood. It is health anxiety, insomnia, dissociation. It is the freeze response that has shut everything down so completely that you can't even access what you feel anymore. It is the fight or flight response that has made everything feel so loud and so sharp that there is no middle ground.

And underneath all of it, the biggest culprit is fear. Anger that hasn't had anywhere to go. The hiding. The "I'll get to that when I'm ready."

I say this because I lived it. Through my own daily somatic work, through finally giving myself permission to release, I went into full blown panic and anxiety not because something was wrong, but because my body said enough. You gave us permission. We are doing this now. And it brought up feelings I had been suppressing for a long time, feelings I had been telling myself I would deal with later.

So I say this to say: you are not alone in being scared to take these steps.

You are not alone in how ugly and messy and brutal it is to tap into places that feel better left untouched. But what you are doing by leaving them untouched is creating a foundation for ongoing health struggles, continuing cycles within yourself, within your relationships, within your children, and robbing yourself of your own joy and peace.

Take the time you need. Give yourself the grace you need. You can regress. You can start and stop and come back. All of that is allowed.

But remember this: you are allowed to release. You are allowed to let it go.

Just know that to let it go, you will have to feel it first.

And you can do that. You are already doing that.

Keep going. 🤍

The Wounded Healers Academy

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