15d (edited) • Tools and Drops
🛠️ TOOL 03 — BOUNDARIES IN ACTION
Use this when you feel drained, resentful, reactive, or stuck repeating the same dynamics.
This tool is not about confrontation.
It's about clarity and self-respect.
📍 Step 1: Name the drain.
What situation, person, or pattern is currently costing you energy?
One sentence. No justification.
⚠️ Step 2: Identify the invisible agreement.
Finish this sentence honestly:
I am tolerating this because…
Examples:
- I don’t want conflict
- I don’t want to disappoint
- I’m hoping it will change
- I don’t want to feel guilty
This reveals the real boundary issue.
🧱 Step 3: Name the boundary.
Complete this sentence:
A boundary here would look like…
Be behavioural, not emotional.
Examples:
- saying no
- leaving earlier
- not responding immediately
- stopping explanation
- changing my availability
If it’s vague, it’s not a boundary.
👉 Step 4: Translate into action.
Complete this sentence:
This week, I will…
Choose one action you can realistically take within 7 days.
❌ No speeches.
❌ No rehearsing other people’s reactions.
⛔ Important:
- Boundaries are not ultimatums
- Boundaries are not punishments
- Boundaries are information expressed through behaviour
You don’t need permission to act differently.
✅ AFTER YOU ACT
Once the boundary is enacted:
- Notice what changes
- Log it in Integration Logs using the required format
Discomfort does not mean you were wrong.
🔍 Why this tool exists:
Most exhaustion comes from unspoken agreements.
Boundaries end the agreement.
Action makes it real.
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🛠️ TOOL 03 — BOUNDARIES IN ACTION
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