The Stoics divided all aspects of life into two categories:
- What we can control (our thoughts, choices, and actions).
- What we cannot control (external events, others’ opinions, outcomes).
This principle, rooted in Epictetus’ Enchiridion, is the foundation of Stoic resilience.
What We Can Control (Internal Domain)
Our Thoughts
- How we interpret events.
- Whether we dwell on negativity or reframe challenges.
- Example: Losing a job → "This is a chance to grow" vs. "I’m doomed."
Our Actions
- What we do (or don’t do) in response to circumstances.
- Example: Instead of complaining about traffic, you use it an opportunity to study.
Our Values & Desires
- Choosing virtue (wisdom, courage, justice, temperance) over externals (money, fame).
- Example: Prioritizing integrity over cutting corners for a promotion.
Our Reactions
- Pausing before responding to insults or setbacks.
- Example: When criticized, ask, "Is this true? If so, I’ll improve. If not, I’ll ignore it."
Our Effort
- How hard we try, not the result.
- Example: You can control aiming and firing an arrow, but not what it hits.
What We Cannot Control (External Domain)
Other People’s Actions/Opinions
- Their choices, judgments, or moods.
- Stoic View: "Why stress over what’s not yours to decide?"
The Past & Future
- What’s already happened or what might happen.
- Stoic View: "The past is gone; the future is uncertain. Focus on now."
Natural Events
- Weather, illness, aging, death.
- Stoic View: "These are part of nature—resist nothing, accept what comes."
Outcomes & Results
- Whether you win, get hired, or succeed.
- Stoic View: "Do your best, then let go."
Luck (Fortune)
- Random chance, like accidents or opportunities.
- Stoic View: "Amor fati—love whatever happens."
How to View What We Can’t Control
Practice Acceptance
- "This is how it is. Fighting it only causes suffering."
- Example: Flight canceled → "I’ll use the time to read or rest."
Amor Fati (Love Your Fate)
- See obstacles as opportunities.
- Example: An injury forces you to discover a new hobby.
Focus on Your Response
- "I can’t control the storm, but I can control how I sail the ship."
- Example: A recession hits → "I’ll learn frugality and new skills."
Detach Emotionally
- Don’t assign "good" or "bad" to externals—only your judgment makes them so.
- Example: Rain ruins your picnic → "Rain isn’t bad; my frustration is optional."
By mastering this dichotomy, you reduce anxiety, waste less energy, and act with clarity.
What external domain do you still try and control?
Choose one and make a plan on how you will let it go.