The Stoic Dichotomy of Control: What We Can & Cannot Control
The Stoics divided all aspects of life into two categories:
  1. What we can control (our thoughts, choices, and actions).
  2. What we cannot control (external events, others’ opinions, outcomes).
This principle, rooted in Epictetus’ Enchiridion, is the foundation of Stoic resilience.
What We Can Control (Internal Domain)
Our Thoughts
  • How we interpret events.
  • Whether we dwell on negativity or reframe challenges.
  • Example: Losing a job → "This is a chance to grow" vs. "I’m doomed."
Our Actions
  • What we do (or don’t do) in response to circumstances.
  • Example: Instead of complaining about traffic, you use it an opportunity to study.
Our Values & Desires
  • Choosing virtue (wisdom, courage, justice, temperance) over externals (money, fame).
  • Example: Prioritizing integrity over cutting corners for a promotion.
Our Reactions
  • Pausing before responding to insults or setbacks.
  • Example: When criticized, ask, "Is this true? If so, I’ll improve. If not, I’ll ignore it."
Our Effort
  • How hard we try, not the result.
  • Example: You can control aiming and firing an arrow, but not what it hits.
What We Cannot Control (External Domain)
Other People’s Actions/Opinions
  • Their choices, judgments, or moods.
  • Stoic View: "Why stress over what’s not yours to decide?"
The Past & Future
  • What’s already happened or what might happen.
  • Stoic View: "The past is gone; the future is uncertain. Focus on now."
Natural Events
  • Weather, illness, aging, death.
  • Stoic View: "These are part of nature—resist nothing, accept what comes."
Outcomes & Results
  • Whether you win, get hired, or succeed.
  • Stoic View: "Do your best, then let go."
Luck (Fortune)
  • Random chance, like accidents or opportunities.
  • Stoic View: "Amor fati—love whatever happens."
How to View What We Can’t Control
Practice Acceptance
  • "This is how it is. Fighting it only causes suffering."
  • Example: Flight canceled → "I’ll use the time to read or rest."
Amor Fati (Love Your Fate)
  • See obstacles as opportunities.
  • Example: An injury forces you to discover a new hobby.
Focus on Your Response
  • "I can’t control the storm, but I can control how I sail the ship."
  • Example: A recession hits → "I’ll learn frugality and new skills."
Detach Emotionally
  • Don’t assign "good" or "bad" to externals—only your judgment makes them so.
  • Example: Rain ruins your picnic → "Rain isn’t bad; my frustration is optional."
By mastering this dichotomy, you reduce anxiety, waste less energy, and act with clarity.
What external domain do you still try and control?
Choose one and make a plan on how you will let it go.
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Tristan Van der Wereld
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The Stoic Dichotomy of Control: What We Can & Cannot Control
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