You know what, I need to organize my thoughts very clearly and carefully, because I keep messing up my tone, information, feelings, the lessons I took, and the things I want to say to another person. I keep mixing everything, and it ends up sounding either awkward or weird. For example, when I’m listening to someone like my brother saying something I suddenly remember a specific thing I learned in my class, and I can connect those two things. But my brother cannot, because he didn’t take the same class as me. So he won’t be able to understand, and this happens a lot. I don’t know how to separate my thoughts or how to keep some information to myself. Because if I don’t say it, then I become completely quiet like no words at all. Mute. I: think in layers connect ideas across contexts carry lessons internally and want to share them but forget that others don’t have the same background file open So when i speak, it either: comes out overloaded, or I shut down completely to avoid misunderstanding It’s an untrained strength, and i donno how to fix it.....;

Yallah why is it so awkward and disturbing at the same time? Like suddenly what gets into people?? Out of nowhere they come and start talking, start smiling like they’ve known us for a whole century. Ajeeb yaar. Sometimes it feels nice, but other times it’s just weird. Like seriously what do you want from me? Please maintain some distance lol. My heart never feels like doing that. I never go up to people like that. When someone approaches me, I feel like I should just sink into the ground and never be seen again. I don’t know why I doubt everyone. I don’t know if they’re even sincere or not. I just pray they don’t ruin my mental health and don’t hurt me, that’s all. I can talk a bit, but not too much. It feels like people are draining me. Social interaction is really difficult sometimes. But on the other hand, some people make us feel so good that it feels like we’ve always been together. Like this isn’t a new friendship this feels like we’ve been friends forever. Those people are my favorite. I really love them. The ones who make me feel comfortable, seen , heard , and don't judge me. I hope me and all of you meet more people like that, and stay as far as possible from toxic ones. Ameen ya Rabb. Allahumma barik 🤍

We don’t fully understand ourselves. We don’t really feel the way we used to feel when we were teenagers, especially in our early teenage days… Something was really mesmerizing about those days… It felt like a lighthearted warm kiss on your cheek. We existed full of joy, excitement,energy, anger, overflowing love and happiness… We sorta felt whole and complete at that moment as well. Now I’m an adult, a grown up kid haha. At that time at least we didn’t feel so many things, but we didn’t feel stillness either ,,,, like we do now as if we’re stuck or as if time isn’t moving, like how we feel sometimes now. Now we feel happy, sad, and excited sometimes, but most of the time we are calm, lost, and quiet, which is for the best I guess. We don’t always feel the need to do something or talk to someone. We are just having these great and huge thoughts and self conversations most of the time, and we often forget that right now we are sitting in the classroom attending a lecture cuz we zoned out. It happens, even though we’re still in our 20s, most of us as Gen Zs… That’s not weird maybe, it’s just what it is I guess… Hopefully soon, InshaAllah, we’ll figure it out and we’ll be satisfied with ourselves a little more. Allahuma barik 🤍

The first Shibafa Qigong set on a Seattle rooftop.

Gonna attend hackathon update you guys soon!