I found that I was my own worst enemy after having my daughter. I felt unrecognisable, I have a pouch I can’t get rid of, stretch marks that society told me should repulse me but then I remembered something. My body spent nine months forming a human from an egg and sperm, I was performing the miracle of life. A zebra has to earn its stripes as it goes, that’s what our stretch marks are, our reward for doing something so incredible. A kangaroo has a pouch to do exactly what we did. To produce and protect their baby. So remember in making a baby, we’ve shown links to some of the most perfectly imperfect and strongest animals in the world Your hormones are going to be running WILD once you have a baby and that’s okay, I cried over cherry Bakewells. But if we spend the duration of our postpartum period hating ourselves, that’s going to negatively impact your thoughts of the postpartum period all together. Once I had my daughter I was instantly a single parent, I was 17, frightened and battling demons inside my head and outside in the world. And I’m not going to say a bubble bath made it better because it didn’t. It sucked for a solid year and a half, my mental health was at an all time low I was a homeless teen, with a baby, no support system fighting to keep my daughter. But I fought because it was all I could do, but I look back at those horrible times and I look back at her face now remembering exactly what I did it for. I still have a pouch that sometimes I do sit and say i feel like it ruins my outfit, but I can’t take it back and even if I could? I wouldn’t trade my daughter in for my old body in any lifetime. You matter, You’re lovely, You’re stunning. Your body is imperfectly perfect🩷

The key to a happy baby is a happy parent, remember it’s okay to not be okay after all it’s your first time on earth too. Once I had a baby I felt like I was stripped of my identity and given a new one solely as ‘mummy’ it’s hard having a whole life depend on you. So try and be easier on yourself; if you look in the mirror and don’t feel familiar with the person looking back at you that is okay too I’ve been there. Try to make sure you bathe and take care of yourself, even if that means getting in the bath with the baby (remember we need to keep it warm not hot if you do that though), go out and find things that make you feel like yourself again, if you have a village don’t feel guilty to use it. You’re allowed a day off, you’re allowed time for yourself. Don’t feel guilty because don’t forget you were a different person before you became ’mama’ or ‘dada’ you’re allowed to try and find yourself again. Going shopping and you’re stood looking at baby clothes and find yourself thinking ‘this baby already has more clothes than I do’ go and get yourself something with that, if it’s not essential remember that as a parent you are, and sometimes luxuries become essential in refinding yourself because they bring a small amount of happiness, and the happier you are the calmer you are. Try and take an hour to turn off your phone and read a book or put on your makeup even if you’re not going out; my makeup box was practically unused once I had my daughter because I just never felt pretty, I lacked the knowledge of my self worth. I felt like a mombie walking around pale, bags under my eyes on fight or flight mode. But one day I said ‘eh why not I’m not going anywhere but I don’t need to be going somewhere to feel good about myself’ because sometimes all we need is to just see ourselves being pretty again being out of your new form into the form you are familiar with. Remember to eat and drink, you matter too🩷

Having a baby heightens not just your emotions but your babies too, they’re brought into unfamiliarity so sleep troubles can be tough; but stress no more help has arrived because whoever created the phrase ‘sleeping like a baby’ clearly didn’t have a baby right? The key to a well rested parent is a well rested baby and while they’re still young they will adapt to your every decision each day in routine because they’re getting used to the world. So while they’re so young it’s good to get them into a good routine. The key to a good routine is stability, I know it’s not always possible to do everything at the same time each day but that’s not all a routine is, the routine is the steps too. My golden bedtime routine rule is the 3 B’s; start your babies bedtime routine with a nice relaxing bath, since having my daughter I used bedtime baths for her which has always seemed to help but remember not every baby is the same, that being said with bathing your baby every day, do not fully wash your baby every day their skin is delicate and prone to irritation but relaxing in warm water reminds them of being in the embryonic sack again, the main areas you should try to wash often on a baby is in the hidden rolls of the neck where milk often dribbles down. Before putting the baby in the bath put their bedtime pyjamas in the dryer or on the radiator to help them regulate after the bath avoiding the baby’s shock causing them stress and upset instead it provides them warmth and comfort still. Step two book; not only is it low stimulation but time with your baby doing small things like this really effects a child’s development and a happy involved home means a happy baby, so try reading a bedtime story before bed get those ten minutes of cuddles in. Step Three; bottle/boob. The final step is a nice full baby. Once your baby is full and content and burped getting rid of discomfort if your baby is a newborn my biggest advice to you? MAKE SOME NOISE. Get them used to noise, but if your baby is a bit older if you have an Alexa there’s a podcast called ‘dreadful bedtime stories’ which means throughout the night they have a comforting reassuring voice that isn’t yours that also helps them understand ’this voice means bedtime’ and they gain knowledge through their sleep with that.

I’ve started this community with the intentions of helping parents of all ages with a lot of the general struggles of parenthood. My name is Chyna and I got pregnant at a young age with my daughter and we’ve faced more problems than imaginable in my duration of parenthood from relationships, self esteem, self care, mental health, chronic illness, legal proceedings, babyproofing tips, budgeting tips, meal plans, sleep regression, routine, baby led-weaning meals, baby massages, paediatric first aid and more! I hope this page reaches people who are interested in helping find themselves in parenthood too🩷