"And I'll become even more undignified than this"

Monique Summer

17d • 🤝Introduce Yourself

Hi, I'm Monique.

I found you through this community through Sistership Circle FB group.

I am currently reading Anna, Grandmother of Jesus which my "auntie" housemates loaned to me.

It turns out she has been initiated into the Magdalene order (I'm not sure what that means yet)...

but it's beautiful and she is a wonderful human.

I chose to follow Christ when I was 6 years old.

My mom ran away from a religious and abusive environment when she was 12

and found her way back to church-God when she was around 27...I was 6.

It was our long haired hippy pastor landlord couple downstairs that shared with me about Jesus!

When I heard his name...it sounds like magical sparkling flying unicorns with rainbows.

I was like who is that!? She was sharing with us basic bible stories for kids but there was so much more energy on it!!! No, really! WHO is that!!!?

I asked mom...she told me...we knelt down in the living room and I said I want to be Jesus friend..."come live in my heart"...

I'd learn later he was there all along.

But that's how it started (with words) for me!

From then on Jesus and I were best friends.

I went to church...I liked it more than mom...she was a single divorced woman but I was a happy child...though I eventually picked up on people's weirdness towards her.

Obviously NOT Jesus-like.

So yah...I was on the youth leadership team and worship team,

I read my Bible, I did't kiss a boy until I was 18.

I enjoyed the community, the potlucks, the playmates, the friendships,

all that good stuff!!! Life altering kindness (despite weirdness)! No regrets.

But then in my later 20's I just couldn't feel great at church anymore...

I was at one church...some people called it the last church they would ever go to because it was hip, cutting edge, small, granola-like, social justice minded, down to earth, honoured artists, served those on the streets etc...all that is true.

And yet, there was also some weird clicky-ness (human behaviour really)

and no hugs weirdness (as always - eye roll- ...except for the friendly warm hearted happily married Aussie pastor. Thank God!). But that church was really focused on the sadness, the mourning and the lamenting. Lord have mercy!

I want to sing and be joyful!!!

And I loved seeing all the people on Sunday morning! I wanted to say hi!

Yay we are here and then hug and then sing happily together!

But no...act like you don't see people you know, don't hug and don't commune too much until afterwards when its really awkward and you know if you get seen too much you will be asked to volunteer for 5 things (I like to help but sometimes its a bit much at churches...like a leeching feeling...volunteer for everything or else be guilted).

Ok, so one day walking home from church,

it was down the street from where I lived, I felt Spirit say, "stop going to church!"

And I was like hello? Is that you? What now!?

And it was clear! Stop going!

Why? Because I have things I need you to unlearn

and because I have other things I want to show you!

Oh! That sounds great!!!

I honestly felt so relieved!

I was getting so tired of trying to make church keep working...

and to be happy about it...but I was really getting suspicious about being told how terrible we all were every Sunday! Like, um, I know I'm not perfect...

but adulthood requires more encouragement than this! lol.

That was around 2018 I think...I stopped going to church!

I had the best year ever...not because of that exactly but it did feel freeing!

I stopped trying to fit in there and to make friends that were just not clicking!

FREEDOM!!!!

*I will always be grateful for my church days and I would love to find an aligned group of people to worship with and learn with and eat meals with again!

I tried going to church a few times since then for Easter

and to meet new people and to be connected...

but each time the message was like, OMG - WTF!

It was getting more and more off for me!

I wanted to jump out and shout out from the congregation...

I could not longer pretend and just sit there...

The last time the pastor did that dirt in the water jar metaphor thing (they do it in youth groups a lot) about humans and sin...and I nearly lept out of my seat...I cannot.

Thank you. Good bye now. Lord have mercy!

I found JPA, a wonderful human online who shares his mystical heavenly experiences and used to be an evangelical pastor and has been kicked out of churches for reading his Bible and supporting writings a little too closely (noice!). And that has been so enlightening!

He says things I knew! He says things I didn't know how to say and things that also I had no idea about and blew my mind but feel so aligned!

In 2024 I was hearing more and more about Mary

and it sounded sketchy, ungrounded, sus...scandelous in a bad way...

but I kept hearing little things and seeing more...

I was like what are these witches and heathens talking about!?

I'm joking...I only thought that...I didn't say it!

Until 2025 I was becoming more curious...

That scene in the Chosen where Mary apparently was writing things was really bothering me! I was like NOW we are saying something about this!? What is this writing she was doing!?

Where is it? What did she say?

and then finally I started reading the book Anna, mother of Jesus when a friend suggested it.

Mind blown!

But again...

FEELS SO ALIGNED!!!

Feels like REMEMBERING!

(take a deep breath and release).

What a journey life is!

I had heard people talk about The Essenes before...

but it sounds like some kind of forbidden witchcraft talk...

I was like...I can't hear this....what are you speaking of!?

But again...as I got more and more unchurchified...

Spirit has been able to show me more and more...

and it's magical and wonder-ful and so light and Jesus filled!!!

Yay!

I've lived most of my life FEELING (with some potent story examples)...

that the Christians were not quite pleased because my mom was single and witchy because she new about herbal healing and I was too bold speaking and wholistic focused leaning towards new age because I liked organic vegetables and such! Seriously. Everyone has had one of those friends whose just like, not that's not true, organic is no different, herbs don't do anything, frequency is just a myth.

It used to be so upsetting when people though this and we wanted to prove ourselves...but now I don't meet many of those people and when they do cross my path...

I just look at them like they are a 5 yr old telling me 2+2 is not 4.

Ok, luv, you'll know one day. Bless you.

I was born in 1984 in BC and I lived in Vancouver in 1990 in Kits...

the mecca of artists and health aware people at that time in BC (for the city anyways).

And when we moved to Ontario we were basically heathens. Lord have mercy!

But that's not the whole story of course...there are so many good church bits and beautiful pastors at beautiful churches and friendships in between.

So now in 2025/2026...here I am being told I'm off track by one Christian friend couple that are worried about me (so encouraging really) and a stranger on the internet told me Jesus would be very upset with my coaching offering and new age demonic activities.

May she see, bless her!

It really just encourages me forward!

And I am so excited to learn more and to feel more freedom!!!

and to be around other women who see and are awakening more and more!

HallaluYah!

I call myself a Christ mystic.

I've been not able to find a group of in person people to worship and learn and commune with who share most of my beliefs for a long time! I know that day is coming again! And I do have one in-person friend that we resonate on a LOT of things, which feels so great.

I may need to move to another country to find an in person group of people.

But I have found people online and that has been so encouraging!

I am a cancer sign, an INFJ, a highly intuitive clairvoyant Spirit-led woman,

a life coach-space holder for women in leadership deconstructing religious and cultural beliefs,

and a bunny mum to 9 precious bunnies, a world traveller living in my earthly homeland of Canada

and I'm single and ready to mingle at 41, looking forward to meeting my future husband in 2026.

I'm currently devouring all aligning information on Mary Magdelene, The Essenes

and the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine design!!!

Life is wow...even while be holy shit too! ;)

I knew my whole life I was alive for something really big and wild

that happened later on in the earth...I could sense something,

but was always wondering what it was!!!

WELL HERE WE ARE BABY!!!! HERE WE ARE!!!

The grand awakening!!!!! I'm so honoured to be alive right now.

NK - I wrote you a small book.

I'm Monique Summerfield.

Peace and Joy!!

Thank you for having me here.

P.S I think one of the leaders invited me to the fb group before and I was like...you're not churchy enough, I can't, which is weird because I didn't want to be around really churchy women...but clearly I just wasn't ready yet. I a now!!!

I remembered the invite and the loving energy.

So here I am now...like 9months later!

Grateful for what you have been learning and building!

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