1️⃣ What is your Instagram so we can follow each other? 2️⃣ Where do you lead others? 3️⃣ What do you want to get out of this group? 4️⃣ Post pictures of you and yours.

Available listening is about emptying yourself of your agenda to hear and know another person for their sake and to be present with and for them as a result.

No Two People Are Ever in the Same Relationship "No Two People Are Ever in the Same Relationship." I love this quote because it reminds me not to presume that another person experiences what I experience in any relationship because they are a different person. The other day I asked my wife what it was like to feel loved by me. She said, it's like being covered up with a warm blanket. Very nice. Ask your partner the same question. Because your partner will express themselves differently from how you feel and what you experience in your relationship with them.

Is life fair? NO! Fairness has two sides: what you owe and deserve. Owing and Deserving are Obligation, and Entitlement. We live in an entitled society, where the message is constantly, what you deserve. If you "deserve" or are "entitled" to something from someone, don't they "owe" or are they "obligated" to you because this is the other side of the equation? YES! The visceral reaction most people have when they encounter entitlement in another person is to recoil or resist, distance themselves, or pull away because this is the inherent obligation reaction to another's entitlement. A few steps down the road is "will-conflict", the most destructive element in all relationships.

We hear a lot about toxic masculinity, not so much about toxic femininity, yet both are equally destructive for relationships. So, the question is what makes these toxic? In a broad sense, pathology has two characteristics: first, it doesn't learn from its mistakes; second, it doesn't tell itself no. As a result, pathology or toxicity is unregulated; in other words, pathology does not self-regulate. In relationship terms, when a man and woman meet, they often place their lives in each other's hands and take on the responsibility of making the other person happy. The problem with this approach is that it sets both people up for a lack of self-regulation and creates expectations that the other person should meet their wants and needs based on their actions. This initial act is often completely unconscious yet thoroughly toxic. This results in a zero game mentality where one person's advantage equals another person's disadvantage. It also establishes a relationship based on fairness, reciprocity, and mutual deserving, setting both people up to measure their actions based on their partner's behavior. This results in a centripetal or moving downward spiral where the relationship ends based on both people getting the short end of the stick every time. If this process doesn't work in relationships. What process does work? Like 0