Apr 28 (edited) • Internal awareness and clarity
Identifying Negative Cycles That Work Against You
i hate to say this bc it’s slightly embarrassing but it’s almost like i was literally born into negative cycles! my mother is an extremely negative, anxious, sad, erratic person. i’m sure she passed that on to me in the womb and then impressed it upon me growing up. she’s since gotten better, or at least aware and tries to be more positive, but not much and the damage is done.
i think ive broken a lot of cycles to be where i am today, but that was all TMH. i’m conscious of my internal dialogue and turmoil that’s mostly not positive. and i can’t seem to shake it. one negative cycle i've identified:
thought: i’m not good enough/i don’t deserve good things/the physical world is not a good place
emotion: sadness, hopelessness, stoicism to just keep going until it’s over
action: go through the motions, “do what i’m supposed to do”, follow the rules/law, hope that’s enough to keep me covered and on to the next day
outcome: the Word says those who keep His ways stay out of trouble, and i do, but the inner result because the motivation stemming from a negative place, is waking up with lack of joy, and never having what i perceive as enough, but then i’ll tell myself “it’s because you don’t deserve it” “the kingdom isn’t here yet” etc and the cycle starts over 😂
but my personality is actually very bubbly and happy and whimsical lol. i just can’t seem to translate that to life.
i hope that doesn’t sound insane. definitely was a little vulnerable there. but this video was amazing and i’m so excited to keep learning and finally, prayerfully, break the loop.
SN: that proverbs verse “as a man thinketh, so is he” is one of my husband’s favs!
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Identifying Negative Cycles That Work Against You
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