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I Told Myself I’d Be Productive 🙄
I told myself I'd use this weekend to get stuff done. Clean the house. Work on projects. Finally do all the things I "never have time for" during the week. Instead, I just... existed. Barely. Scrolled. Napped. Stared at the wall. Moved from bed to couch and back to bed. And the whole time, this voice in my head: "You're wasting your life. You're so lame. Even when you have time to yourself, you do nothing with it." 🦋 Here's what I'm learning: 🦋 There's a difference between “chosen solitude” and “shame-driven hiding”. Chosen solitude = recharging, creating, being with yourself because you WANT to. Shame-driven hiding = isolating because you don't believe you're worthy of connection. Then beating yourself up for "wasting" the weekend you were too afraid to actually live. ✨The truth: ✨ I wasn't being unproductive because I'm lazy. I was exhausted from feeling unworthy all week. My body shut down. My brain went offline. And instead of resting, I spent the weekend punishing myself for needing rest. That's not the same as "doing nothing." That's survival mode. 🦋 If your weekends look like this: You're not alone. You're not lame. You're not wasting your life. You're just tired. And maybe a little afraid of being seen. And that's okay. We're working on it together. 🦋 Tell me in the comments: Do your weekends feel productive or just... heavy? What does "existing barely" look like for you? Let's talk about it. You're not alone in this. 🦋
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I Told Myself I’d Be Productive 🙄
I Almost Didn't Create This Space
Because who am I to guide anyone? I'm not a therapist. I'm not certified. I don't have a PhD in body image or a degree in transformation. What I have is decades of living invisible. Four suicide attempts. Years of bulimia and self-harm. A lifetime of avoiding mirrors, photos, and my own reflection. Decades of making myself smaller - physically and emotionally - because I believed that's what it meant to be safe. At 36, I got diagnosed with ADHD. Late. Like so many women. And everything clicked. The body shame. The identity shame. The constant feeling of being "too much" and "not enough" at the same time. The inability to see myself clearly. It wasn't just about hating my body. It was about losing myself entirely. I started the hard work of reclaiming both. Body AND identity. Not by becoming perfect, but by choosing to stop hiding. And now I'm here. Creating this space. **Not as an expert. As someone who's been there.** Someone who knows what it's like to: - Decline invitations because you feel too visible - Delete every photo of yourself - Forget who you are beneath the shame - Live a smaller life than you deserve **This community is for women like us.** Women with ADHD (diagnosed or not). Women with body image issues, eating disorders, or self-harm histories. Women who've been depressed, anxious, self-doubting. Women who've been invisible for so long they've forgotten what it feels like to be seen. **Here's what we'll do together:** ✅ Name the ways shame has kept us small ✅ Reclaim our bodies without needing to "love" them first ✅ Rediscover our identities beneath the hiding ✅ Support each other through the messy, non-linear process ✅ Celebrate small acts of visibility **Here's what we won't do:** ❌ Pretend this is easy ❌ Offer quick fixes or toxic positivity ❌ Make you perform "healing" for anyone's comfort ❌ Judge where you are in your journey **This is peer support. Not therapy.** --- **So. Welcome.** If you're here, you're ready to stop being invisible. Or at least, you're curious about what that might look like.
I Almost Didn't Create This Space
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