I Told Myself I’d Be Productive 🙄

I told myself I'd use this weekend to get stuff done.

Clean the house. Work on projects. Finally do all the things I "never have time for" during the week.

Instead, I just... existed. Barely.

Scrolled. Napped. Stared at the wall. Moved from bed to couch and back to bed.

And the whole time, this voice in my head: "You're wasting your life. You're so lame. Even when you have time to yourself, you do nothing with it."

🦋 Here's what I'm learning: 🦋

There's a difference between “chosen solitude” and “shame-driven hiding”.

Chosen solitude = recharging, creating, being with yourself because you WANT to.

Shame-driven hiding = isolating because you don't believe you're worthy of connection. Then beating yourself up for "wasting" the weekend you were too afraid to actually live.

✨The truth: ✨

I wasn't being unproductive because I'm lazy.

I was exhausted from feeling unworthy all week. My body shut down. My brain went offline. And instead of resting, I spent the weekend punishing myself for needing rest.

That's not the same as "doing nothing."

That's survival mode.

🦋

If your weekends look like this:

You're not alone.

You're not lame.

You're not wasting your life.

You're just tired. And maybe a little afraid of being seen.

And that's okay. We're working on it together.

🦋

Tell me in the comments:

Do your weekends feel productive or just... heavy? What does "existing barely" look like for you?